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Nowadays, traffic jam is a common problem in big cities. What do you think are the causes of this problem?

Nowadays, traffic jam is a common problem in big cities. What do you think are the causes of this problem? 1blLq
In the modern era like today, means of transport show up more and more on every road, so traffic jam is a big problem that we are inevitable, especially this is very common in big cities. So, what are the causes of this problem? In my opinion, the most significant factor leads to this problem is the high number of cars. Big cities are where the population is crowded because people flock here to study, work and travel, because of theirs good infrastructure, modern popular culture, many wonderful studies and jobs opportunities, and a lot of beautiful scenes. Some of the big cities that we can mention that Beijing, New York, Ha Noi, Bangkok, etc. , are full of people. Those reasonable reasons show that why many people move to big cities, and from that, the more people, the more cars, roads are full of means of transport, so that traffic congestion is more and more common and serious. The second thing that I want to say is that individuals’ awareness. People often tend to use their own transit to move from one place to another, rather than use public shippings just like bus, train, or subway. Therefore, streets are filled with cars, motorbikes, and some of bus, bicycles, and pedestrians. Moreover, residents often gather on roads at rush hour, the time when workers, students, marketers, gym goers, and so on, all end of work and school together. As a consequence, streets become a mess and congested for hours. Third, last but not least, is the poor management of the government. Authorities have not really paid attention at the street work and properly allocated time frames for vehicles operation yet. That very lack of management leads to the traffic jam is more and more serious and has unforeseeable consequences. In conclusion, traffic jam is one of the most painful problems, especially it’s really common problem and a burden in big cities. So I think, each of us and the government should be aware of its effects and have right solutions to reduce it in one day not far.
In the modern era like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, means of transport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
up more and more on every road,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that we are inevitable,
especially
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, what are the causes of this problem?

In my opinion, the most significant factor leads to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is the high number of cars.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are where the population
is crowded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
flock here to study, work and travel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of theirs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
infrastructure, modern popular culture,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wonderful studies and jobs opportunities, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
scenes.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
that we can mention that Beijing, New York, Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
, Bangkok, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
are full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Those reasonable reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, and from that, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the more cars, roads are full of means of transport,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion is more and more common and serious.

The second thing that I want to say is that individuals’ awareness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
transit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one place to another,
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public
Possible spelling mistake found.
shippings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like bus, train, or subway.
Therefore
, streets
are filled
with cars, motorbikes, and
Consider using "some bus" or "some of the bus".
some of bus
, bicycles, and pedestrians.
Moreover
, residents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
gather on roads at rush hour, the time when workers, students, marketers, gym goers, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of work and school together. As a consequence, streets become a mess and congested for hours.

Third, last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, is the poor management of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Authorities have not
really
paid attention at the street work and
properly
allocated time frames for vehicles operation
yet
. That
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lack of management leads to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam is more and more serious and has unforeseeable consequences.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam is one of the most painful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
,
especially
it’s
really
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and a burden in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, each of us and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be aware of its effects and have right solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
it in one day not far.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, traffic jam is a common problem in big cities. What do you think are the causes of this problem?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
348 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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