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People would like to go to a postsecondary school like a college or university. What do you think are their reasons for attending this type of school? State your ideas using proper reasons and examples.

People would like to go to a postsecondary school like a college or university. What do you think are their reasons for attending this type of school? State your ideas using proper reasons and examples. OyYDG
As everyone is aware, there are many different decisions about what they would do after graduating from high school. Some people believe that it is better for people to continue to attend college or university. What makes them choose it? In my opinion, having a better job and making more relationships are the reasons why people select to go to a postsecondary school. The first rationale that people choose to go to college or university is to have a better job such as executives or managers. The proper theoretical and moral education is the sole purpose of a college or university to build the ideal citizens that the country needs. Therefore, when students continue to study after high school, they will acquire more important knowledge and skills that are the foundation of success. For example, teamwork is an essential skill for future work. This would help them to have a good life. If they apply a job right after leaving high school, they would not able to do works that require highly specialized knowledge. Making more relationships is the next reason that people care. Due to entering university, students will meet a lot of new friends and teachers. This allows them to get a lot of attention and help from others. Talent people such as professors or masters would help students to gain the valuable experiences that they have accumulated over the years. If students do not attend university, they would have fewer friends. As everyone knows, in the working environment, we will have fewer opportunities to make friends than when we were in school because the number of people working at the company is very small compared to the number of students at the school. In conclusion, when making a decision, people would consider the benefits it brings. I believe getting a job with a high salary and making more connections are the reasons why going to a postsecondary school, which is the best way to succeed.
As everyone is aware, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
decisions about what they would do after graduating from
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high
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school
.
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Some
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people
believe that it is better for
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people
to continue to attend college or
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university
. What
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them choose it? In my opinion, having a better
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job
and making more relationships are the reasons why
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people
select to go to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
postsecondary
school.

The
first
rationale that
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people
choose to go to college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is to have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
such as executives or managers. The proper theoretical and moral education is the sole purpose of a college or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
to build the ideal citizens that the country needs.
Therefore
, when
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students
continue to study after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they will acquire more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that are the foundation of success.
For example
, teamwork is an essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
for future work. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life. If they apply a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
right after leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they would not able to do works that require
highly
specialized knowledge.

Making more relationships is the
next
reason that
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people
care. Due to entering
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university
,
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students
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
new friends and teachers. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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a lot of
attention and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from others. Talent
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people
such as professors or masters would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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students
to gain the valuable experiences that they have accumulated over the years. If
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students
do not attend
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university
, they would have fewer friends. As everyone knows, in the working environment, we will have fewer opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends than when we were in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the number of
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people
working at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is
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very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
compared to the number of
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students
at the school.

In conclusion
, when making a decision,
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people
would consider the benefits it brings. I believe getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary and making more connections are the reasons why going to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
postsecondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, which is the best way to succeed.
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IELTS essay People would like to go to a postsecondary school like a college or university. What do you think are their reasons for attending this type of school? State your ideas using proper reasons and examples.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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