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People who send their children to private school should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

People who send their children to private school should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. with this statement? LNX1
In any democratic country economy and development are dependent on taxes which citizen pays to government in different forms like Property, Road, Education and other taxes. Collected tax is utilized for development of country as well as to improve and give quality life to their citizens. Some citizen of these countries thinks that Education tax should not be paid by the parent of the children who all are going to private schools. I am not agreeing with this and discussing the topic in details in upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, Tax is collected by the government to enhance and improve quality of life style. Education tax is one of them. This tax is collected by the government to improve quality of the education in the country. Every parent should pay education tax without considering the medium of school from where their children is getting education. Tax collected by government is any how utilized for the education of their children only by the means of different activities that government is providing to private schools. For example, Education ministry is recruiting experienced teachers to train teachers of private as well as government school teachers. Many other activies are conducted by education ministry that includes private schools too in their agenda. That means tax payed by the parent is only utilized for their child. Moreover, Education is a key to success and everyone should acquire basic education for better future and life. For development of any country education plays an important role and hence government is providing various schemes so that poor citizen can also provide education to their children. For instance, In India where 45% people are below poverty line, government started one scheme that is called AKSHAY PATRA. A free meal is provided to children who all are going to government school. This encourages student and built an interest to study and gain education. Education Tax is utilized in these type of schemes and as a responsible citizen it is our core responsibility to contribute to our nation for its betterment. To put it in a nutshell, I feel each and every responsible parent whose children is going to private school must pay education tax as it helps nation and them selves in either way.
In any democratic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
economy and development are dependent on
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taxes
which
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citizen
pays to
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government
in
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different
forms like Property, Road,
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Education
and other
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taxes
. Collected
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tax
is
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utilized
for development of
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country
as well
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and give quality life to their
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citizens
.
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Some
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citizen
of these
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countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
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Education
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tax
should not
be paid
by the
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parent
of the
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children
who all are going to
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private
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schools
. I
The verb 'agreeing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
am not agreeing
with this and discussing the topic in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
in upcoming paragraphs.

To
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begin
with,
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Tax
is collected
by the
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government
to enhance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of life style.
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Education
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tax
is one of them. This
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tax
is collected
by the
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government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of the
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education
in the
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country
. Every
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parent
should pay
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education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
without considering the medium of
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school
from where their
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children
is getting
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education
.
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Tax
collected by
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government
is any how
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utilized
for the
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education
of their
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children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by the means of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities that
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government
is providing to
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private
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schools
.
For example
,
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Education
ministry is recruiting experienced teachers to train teachers of
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private
as well
as
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government
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school
teachers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
other
Possible spelling mistake found.
activies
are conducted
by
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education
ministry that includes
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private
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schools
too in their agenda. That means
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tax
Only in a nautical context 'payed' is an acceptable past tense form of 'pay'. Please check!
payed
by the
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parent
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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utilized
for their child.

Moreover
,
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Education
is a key to success and everyone should acquire basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for better future and life. For development of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role and
hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is providing various schemes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
can
also
provide
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education
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
, In India where 45%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are below poverty line,
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government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
one scheme that
is called
AKSHAY
Possible spelling mistake found.
PATRA
. A free meal
is provided
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who all are going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. This encourages student and built an interest to study and gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tax
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
utilized
in these type of schemes and as a responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
it is our core responsibility to contribute to our nation for its betterment.

To put it in a nutshell, I feel each and every responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "am", "are", "aren".
is
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
nation and
Did you mean "themselves"?
them selves
in either way.
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IELTS essay People who send their children to private school should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
374 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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