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people who is my sources of inspiration

people who is my sources of inspiration jDJ5d
My idol is BTS, a Korean group with 7 members: Jin, RM, Suga, JHope, Jimin, V and Jungkook. They are singers with huge achievements and fan bases in Korea and around the world. And I can say my inspiration behind my family and friends is my idol – BTS. The group officially debuted on June 13, 2013. I know to be famous, they were so miserable. From unknown people, they tried hard and practiced to become famous like today, making many people admire. As a result, when I want to give up, I always look to them to try harder. They remind me never to give up and do my best. On September 24, 2018, Bts is the first k-pop artist to be honored to speak at theUnited Nations. RM – the leader of the group said: “Who you are? Where are you from? Your skin color? Your gender identity? Just speak yourself. ” After I had listened to his speech, I felt more confident than before. They are my inspiration and motivation to find my dream and become responsible. Besides, their songs inspired me and taught me to love myself, full of faith and pride. And this is how BTS has influenced me, help me grow, and become more confident about myself. It is BTS that is a great group, and I will always support them in the future. And I want to talk: Love Yourself.
My idol is BTS, a Korean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
with 7 members: Jin, RM,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Suga
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
JHope
, Jimin, V and Jungkook. They are singers with huge achievements and fan bases in Korea and around the world. And I can say my inspiration behind my family and friends is my idol
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
BTS. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
officially
debuted on June 13, 2013. I know to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
, they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
miserable. From unknown
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they tried
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
The verb 'practiced' is used with the gerund form: "practiced becoming".
practiced to become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
admire.
As a result
, when I want to give up, I always look to them to
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
try


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
harder
. They remind me never to give up and do my best. On September 24, 2018,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bts
is the
first
k-pop artist to
be honored
to speak at
Possible spelling mistake found.
theUnited
Nations.

RM
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the leader of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
said: “Who you are? Where are you from? Your skin color? Your gender identity?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
speak yourself. ” After I had listened to his speech, I felt more confident than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. They are my inspiration and motivation to find my dream and become responsible.
Besides
, their songs inspired me and taught me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
myself, full of faith and pride. And this is how BTS has influenced me,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me grow, and become more confident about myself. It is BTS
that is
a great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, and I will always support them in the future. And I want to talk:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Love
Yourself.
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IELTS essay people who is my sources of inspiration

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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