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Students should be attended co-ed school

Students should be attended co-ed school Yk1gr
Students should be attended co-ed school is traditionally deemed to become more popular in the present age. However, others are against the idea, claiming that their children should be studied in single-gender institutions is more reasonable. In my perspective, both standpoints have their own credibility which I will elaborate in this essay, however, children should enter mixed-gender schools. On the one hand, the option to engage in single-sex education is attractive for several reasons. The primary reason is while the students would be taught separately in a different environment, they could not interact together. It is contributed to the consequence that pupils could not have physical relationships and moreover, their parents do not need to concern about if they are in love or not. The second reason is, boys and girls have different physiques, is lead to the outcome that some subjects are not suitable for the boys, and neither for the girls. For example, the running test can not be the same approach for all students, especially for girls when they have a weaker body. Without the worry of these distractions, a multitude of parents are persuade others to make a similar choice with them. On the other hand, involved in mixed-sex education one can not deny the fact that students would have a better development. The principal cause is students can learn how the way that another gender is thinking. An article in The Guardian says that women who are thinking gravitate towards their feelings, however, men tend to act in a rational way. What’s more, approving children to fall in love is not a terrible idea. They can significantly improve the ability of patient and caring which raise up their humanity. In short, people find out countless reasons to agree with this statement. All things considered, although some people believe that take participants in the single-sex school is more suitable. Nevertheless going for mixed-sex education is more worthwhile because it has brought advantages to people in terms of developing their children’s characters.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
should
be attended
co-ed school is
traditionally
deemed to become more popular in the present age.
However
, others are against the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, claiming that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be studied
in single-gender institutions is more reasonable. In my perspective, both standpoints have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
credibility which I will elaborate in this essay,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should enter mixed-gender schools.

On the one hand, the option to engage in single-sex education is attractive for several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. The primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would
be taught
separately
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
environment, they could not interact together. It
is contributed
to the consequence that pupils could not have physical relationships and
moreover
, their parents do not need to concern about if they are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
or not. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is, boys and girls have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
physiques, is lead to the outcome that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
subjects are not suitable for the boys, and neither for the girls.
For example
, the running
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
can not be the same approach for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
especially
for girls when they have a weaker body. Without the worry of these distractions, a multitude of parents are persuade others to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a similar choice with them.

On the other hand
, involved in mixed-sex education one can not deny the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would have a better development. The principal cause is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can learn how the way that another gender is thinking. An article in The Guardian says that women who are thinking gravitate towards their feelings,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
tend to act
Consider replacing "in a rational way" with the adverb for "rational"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a rational way
. What’s more, approving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to fall in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
is not a terrible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. They can
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the ability of patient and caring which raise up their humanity. In short,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find out countless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

All things considered, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that take participants in the single-sex school is more suitable.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
going for mixed-sex education is more worthwhile
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has brought advantages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in terms of developing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
characters.
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IELTS essay Students should be attended co-ed school

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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