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Some people agree with Covid-19 vaccination for kids, some don't agree. Discuss both views

Some people agree with Covid-19 vaccination for kids, some don't agree. Discuss both views N3Q82
Nowadays, Covid-19 has been so fatal to humanity's well-being that scientists have invented vaccines for the virus. However, the vaccination has been a burning issue in Vietnam, for the under-18s in particular. Numerous individuals see eye to eye with this idea, conversely, there are countless opposed to the idea. In this essay, we will be discussing both of the views To begin with, children without vaccination can be prevented from suffering the aftermaths of the vaccines. Vaccination is very useful however it may bring some deadly aftermaths for specific individuals which may cause serious problems. Namely, countless children have been shown suffering from the symptoms and passed away afterwards. Furthermore, the lack of vaccination may result in the better caution to the virus. It is known that people after being fully vaccinated tend to be more reckless dealing with the virus than before. Recent developments have shown that a higher percentage of humans tend to be heedful towards Covid without vaccination. However, there are plenty of advantages of vaccinating the juveniles. Firstly, it aids children in going back to school. Most students have been suffering from online learning due to the risk of being infected which can be tackled by vaccinating. For example, schools in specific countries have been able to re-function owing to the high rate of vaccination. Following, getting vaccinated can prevent them from suffering from fatal symptoms. Covid-19 has been evolving over the last 2 year into a potentially fatal virus which is very detrimental to children without vaccination. For instance, a high percentage of individuals without vaccination that are labored under Delta mutation has been shown dead, conversely to those who have been vaccinated thus demonstrating the benefits of inoculation. All in all, both of the views have their benefits for the well-being of children. However, I believe that vaccination is mandatory for the under-18s
Nowadays, Covid-19 has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
fatal to humanity's well-being that scientists have invented vaccines for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
.
However
, the vaccination has been a burning issue in Vietnam, for the under-18s
in particular
. Numerous individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
eye to eye with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
conversely
, there are countless opposed to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. In this essay, we will be discussing both of the views

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
without vaccination can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suffering
the aftermaths of the vaccines. Vaccination is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful
however
it may bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deadly aftermaths for specific individuals which may cause serious problems.
Namely
, countless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have
been shown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suffering
from the symptoms and passed away afterwards.
Furthermore
, the lack of vaccination may result in the better caution to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
. It
is known
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
after being
fully
vaccinated tend to be more reckless dealing with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Recent developments have shown that a higher percentage of humans tend to be heedful towards
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
Covid
without vaccination.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of advantages of vaccinating the juveniles.
Firstly
, it aids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in going back to school. Most students have been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suffering
from online learning due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
being infected
which can
be tackled
by vaccinating.
For example
, schools in specific countries have been able to re-function owing to the high rate of vaccination. Following, getting vaccinated can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suffering
from fatal symptoms. Covid-19 has been evolving over the last 2 year into a
potentially
fatal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
virus
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
detrimental to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
without vaccination.
For instance
, a high percentage of individuals without vaccination that
are labored
under Delta mutation has
been shown
dead,
conversely
to those who have
been vaccinated
thus
demonstrating the benefits of inoculation.

All in all, both of the views have their benefits for the well-being of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, I believe that vaccination is mandatory for the under-18s
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IELTS essay Some people agree with Covid-19 vaccination for kids, some don't agree. Discuss both views

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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