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Advantages and Disadvantages of action sports.

Advantages and Disadvantages of action sports. BLKaX
Some of people think that extreme sports such as mountain biking, scuba diving are so dangerous and governments should ban them. Others, however, believe that they have some particular benefits. In this essay, I will dicuss both their positive and negative aspects. On the one hand, it is undeniable that action sports are sustainablly risk. First, when you take up extreme sports without any specialized skills, you may get injured physically. Some of them may cause injury on body, particularly joints even with the safety precautions and protective equipments. Secondly, these sports need professional equipments and related products so these cost much money. Thirdly, it may put players’s health at risk. Some people might think that they are fit but such action sports increase heart rate which can cause heart attack. In the other hand, there are some reasons that extreme sports are beneficial. The main reason is they provide a part in the economic development of a country because people have to pay for if they want to experience them. For example, in America skydiving is a very porpular activity and it contributed 7% in the economy of the US. Additionally, it is better to release stress after taking up some extreme sports. Furthermore, these sports are taken as a feature element for tourist industries to attract visitors by government and it may create a number of work opportunities for people. In conclusion, extreme sports have both positive and negative aspects. Despite they drive economic development, they cause physical injury.
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Some
of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as mountain biking, scuba diving are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should ban them. Others,
however
, believe that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular benefits. In this essay, I will
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dicuss
both their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
sustainablly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
First
, when you take up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
without any specialized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, you may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
injured
physically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them may cause injury on body,
particularly
joints even with the safety precautions and protective equipments.
Secondly
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
need professional equipments and related products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these cost much money.
Thirdly
, it may put
Did you mean "player’s" or "players’"?
players’s
health at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they
are fit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
such action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
increase heart rate which can cause heart attack.

In the other hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are beneficial. The main reason is they provide a part in the economic development of a country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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have to
pay for if they want to experience them.
For example
, in America skydiving is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
porpular
activity and it contributed 7% in the economy of the US.
Additionally
, it is better to release
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
after taking up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are taken
as a feature element for tourist industries to attract visitors by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and it may create a number of work opportunities for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects. Despite they drive economic development, they cause physical injury.
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IELTS essay Advantages and Disadvantages of action sports.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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