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People under 24 should not drive,agree or disagree

People under 24 should not drive, agree or disagree e8W5x
The accident is one of the most mortal phenomena in the world. According, to the WHO it was the first cause of death. Most of the time it accurses due to driving young people without any experiments. Therefore, I think it is so indispensable that drivers have enough skills to be allowed for driving. Although young people under 24 are able to learn quickly, frequently they decide emotionally. Furthermore, they don’t have enough experience consequently it can cause an accident. Youth are really fast learning despite old people but still, they think unmatured therefore they may take some dangerous decisions. One of these hazardous acts can cause accidents. Based on WHO’s statistics more than 75% of accidents occur by people under 24. And approximately half of these accidents cause death. Due to that fact, I think the government should reconsider the age of giving a driving license. In addition, people under 24 still don’t have enough experiments for driving. They need more practice to learn what to do in various situations. Even more, earn the ability that can do every movement sophisticated and without mistakes. When I was 18, I just start driving and was really good at Secluded places however in traffics I can’t manage the car at first, but after a few months whit my father’s aid I can handle that. In conclusion, young people especially under 24 should not drive, or at least, in my opinion, they shouldn’t drive alone, and somebody has to observe them. Due to that facts, they think emotionally and still not muttered enough and in addition, they still don’t have sufficient experience especially in hazardous situations.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
is one of the most mortal phenomena in the world. According, to the WHO it was the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of death. Most of the time it
Possible spelling mistake found.
accurses
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without any experiments.
Therefore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
indispensable that drivers have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
. Although young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under 24 are able to learn
quickly
,
frequently
they decide
emotionally
.
Furthermore
, they don’t have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
experience
consequently
it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
an accident.

Youth are
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
learning despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
Possible spelling mistake found.
unmatured
therefore
they may take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
decisions. One of these hazardous acts can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. Based on
Did you mean "whom"?
WHO
’s statistics more than 75% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
occur by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under 24. And approximately half of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
death. Due to that fact, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should reconsider the age of giving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
license.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under 24
still
don’t have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
experiments for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
. They need more
The verb 'practice' is used with the gerund form: "practice learning".
practice to learn
what to do in various situations. Even more, earn the ability that can do every movement sophisticated and without mistakes. When I was 18, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
and was
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at Secluded places
however
in traffics I can’t manage the car at
first
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after a few months whit my father’s aid I can handle that.

In conclusion
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
especially
under 24 should not drive, or at least, in my opinion, they shouldn’t drive alone, and somebody
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
observe them. Due to that facts, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
emotionally
and
still
not muttered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enough
and
in addition
, they
still
don’t have sufficient experience
especially
in hazardous situations.
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IELTS essay People under 24 should not drive, agree or disagree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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