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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, and not enough time on more serious duties and obligations. Use details and examples to support your answer

People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, and not enough time on more serious duties and obligations. Use details and examples to support your answer qLBwa
Nowadays we live in a society that all individuals are deeply involved with serious obligations and responsibilities. Our generation do not spend a majority of their time on leisure or personal enjoyment. I strongly believe in our life style an extensive quantity of individuals are knot to serious duties rather than spending enough time on their personal enjoyment. First, by the swift progress of technology the opportunity of contacting anyone and anywhere is possible. This means that numerous people can be working even from their homes and on their free times. For instance, I worked in an architecture firm that my job required all my free time and even my sleep. I was abused by the power of my authorities for doing more work after standard hours. There were times that I would have spent my energy on a project 12 hours’ straight just to please my boss. In addition, my boss’s expectation of me giving all my free time for their company destroyed my physical and mental health and it drove me to exhaustion. Second, by comparing ten years ago work environment with now it is obvious that how everyone are deeply sucked into their work for achieving more money. By social media standards a certain lifestyle is encouraged to have for a luxurious experience. In addition, a great majority of fellows are fighting to achieve this lifestyle and this means more work for them to earn more. For example, many Instagram influencers are showing their flashy lives openly for everyone to see. No one can be sure the pictures they post are the real situation of their daily lives; however, there some who get hypnotized by them and have the desire to have what they have. To conclude, various individuals are involved in to their obligations more than ever rather than spending some time on their own. It is my firm belief that the improvement of technology and social media are the reason that people have less personal enjoyment.
Nowadays we
live
in a society that all individuals are
deeply
involved with serious obligations and responsibilities. Our generation do not spend a majority of their
time
on leisure or personal enjoyment. I
strongly
believe in our life style an extensive quantity of individuals
are knot
to serious duties
rather
than spending
enough
time
on their personal enjoyment.

First
, by the swift progress of technology the opportunity of contacting anyone and anywhere is possible. This means that numerous
people
can be working even from their homes and on their free
times
.
For instance
, I worked in an architecture firm that my job required all my free
time
and even my sleep. I
was abused
by the power of my authorities for doing more
work
after standard hours. There were
times
that I would have spent my energy on a project 12 hours’ straight
just
to
please
my boss.
In addition
, my boss’s expectation of me giving all my free
time
for their
company
destroyed
my physical and mental health and it drove me to exhaustion.

Second, by comparing ten years ago
work
environment with
now
it is obvious that how everyone are
deeply
sucked into their
work
for achieving more money. By social media standards a certain lifestyle
is encouraged
to have for a luxurious experience.
In addition
, a great majority of fellows are fighting to achieve this lifestyle and this means more
work
for them to earn more.
For example
,
many
Instagram influencers are showing their flashy
lives
openly
for everyone to
see
. No one can be sure the pictures they post are the real situation of their daily
lives
;
however
, there
some
who
get
hypnotized by them and have the desire to have what they have.

To conclude
, various individuals
are involved
in to their obligations more than ever
rather
than spending
some
time
on their
own
. It is my firm belief that the improvement of technology and social media are the reason that
people
have less personal enjoyment.
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IELTS essay People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment, and not enough time on more serious duties and obligations. Use details and examples to support your answer

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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