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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much money on clothing to improve their appearance.

People today spend too much money on clothing to improve their appearance. 3gAk5
Nowadays many people waste their money in clothes in order to improve how they look. Personally, I agree that many of then spend their money on clothing to improve their appareance. I feel this way fot two reasons, which I will examine in this essay. First, many people spend their money trying to look like celebrities. Since most of them follow clothing trends in order to imitate how celebrities dress, they waste their money, regardeless how much expensive the clothes are. For example, when I was at university, because of Eminem's out fit, wearing baggy pants and oversize T-shit became a popular clothing trend. Indeed, all the clothing stores are full of these clothes, and the more popular became Eminem, people wanted to buy these type of clothes. Therefore, it is obvious that many people spend their money trying to look like celebrities. Second, many people tend to relate your appeareance with your social status, thus they waste a lot of money on clothes. Since many people believe that the way you dress is related to how much money you have, they used to spend a lot on money on improve their appearance. For instance, when I was at the high school, many of my classrooms thought that your clothes send a message of how richy you are, as a consequence, they would often buy sophisticated clothes like suits and expensive shoes. As you can see, it is evident that many people expend money on clothes to enhanced their appearances because they tend to link it with your money. In conclusion, I agree that nowadays many people waste their buying clothes in order to enhance how they look. This is because they trying to imitate popular people and their clothing trends regardeless, if those clothes are expensive; and because people link your appearance with your social status.
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
how they
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look
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on clothing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
appareance
. I feel this way
Possible spelling mistake found.
fot
two reasons, which I will examine in this essay.

First
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
like celebrities. Since most of them follow clothing trends in order to imitate how celebrities dress, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
regardeless
how much expensive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are.
For example
, when I was at university,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of Eminem's out fit, wearing baggy pants and oversize T-shit became a popular clothing trend.
Indeed
, all the clothing stores are full of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, and the more popular became Eminem,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
.
Therefore
, it is obvious that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
like celebrities.

Second,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to relate your
Possible spelling mistake found.
appeareance
with your social status,
thus
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
. Since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the way you dress
is related
to how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
you have, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a lot on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their appearance.
For instance
, when I was at the high school,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of my classrooms
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a message of how
Possible spelling mistake found.
richy
you are, as a consequence, they would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
like suits and expensive shoes. As you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, it is evident that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
expend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
to enhanced their appearances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they tend to link it with your money.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
their buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
in order to enhance how they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
look
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Did you mean "they're trying", "they are trying", or "they were trying"?
they trying
to imitate popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their clothing trends
Possible spelling mistake found.
regardeless
, if those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
are expensive; and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
link your appearance with your social status.
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IELTS essay People today spend too much money on clothing to improve their appearance.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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