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People today can use the internet to learn about lives and cultures in other countries, so it is not necessary to travel anymore. Do you agree?

People today can use the internet to learn about lives and cultures in other countries, so it is not necessary to travel anymore. Do you agree? J0dPB
Nowadays, people can search a lot of thing on internet about live and cultures or thing that are unique in other countries, so it is not necessary that we go to that country. I absolutely disagree about if we were searching about that country then we do not need to go to that country. this essay will supporting my opinion. To starting with, Something that we the thing that you see on internet is not same as you think. Maybe perhaps on the Internet, the picture have been taking for long time and posted foe long time too. Some places was changing over time and some things are not available on the internet, it have only natives will know and one more thing whether we do not know what is on the internet is real or not, or it might not even exist at all. Then the feeling that we see from the picture on the internet or YouTube is different from what we see with our own eyes or we listen to what other people have been to that country, such as, last 2 years, that I was going to the Taipei before I decided to went to Taipei so I had asked people who had traveled that they told me about this country, It had not thing to travel, you could better went to another country, but I do not believed what they said and I decided to go this country. In concluded, you should not trust every thing that you see or listen to someone, you should experience it by yourself or saw it with your own eyes. It might not be the same information that you had come to known.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can search
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of things".
a lot of thing
on internet about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and cultures or thing that are unique in other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not necessary that we go to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. I
absolutely
disagree about if we were searching about that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
then we do not need to go to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
essay will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "support"
supporting
my opinion.

To starting with, Something that we the thing that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
on internet is not same as you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
. Maybe perhaps on the Internet, the picture have been taking for long time and posted foe long time too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
places
You should probably use: "were".
was
changing over time and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things are not available on the internet, it
Did you mean "has"?
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
natives will know and one more thing whether we do not know what is on the internet is real or not, or it might not even exist at all.

Then the feeling that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the picture on the internet or YouTube is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from what we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
eyes or
we listen to what other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have been to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, such as, last 2 years, that I was going to the Taipei
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I decided to went to Taipei
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I had asked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who had traveled that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me about this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, It had not thing to travel, you could better went to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I do not believed what they said and I decided to go this country.

In concluded, you should not trust every thing that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
or listen to someone, you should experience it by yourself or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
it with your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
eyes. It might not be the same information that you had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
Did you mean "to know"?
to known
.
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IELTS essay People today can use the internet to learn about lives and cultures in other countries, so it is not necessary to travel anymore. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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