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People to open their minds to learn new skills

People to open their minds to learn new skills ABxQM
Nowadays people becoming creator or buyer. In other words, we are spending our days among reading, eating, and buying many things which we are not need it. If they are know true happiness, it is come from help others or fight to get your dreams. For exemplified, Egypts suffer from consider the biggest place you can find many buyer compare with creator that lead to many young man unemployment to be criminals. Therefore, all government should be give chances for young man to find jobs and change mindset of new generation by improve the education
Nowadays
people
becoming creator or buyer.
In other words
, we are spending our days among reading, eating, and buying
many
things which we are not
need
it. If they are
know
true happiness, it is
come
from
help
others or fight to
get
your dreams. For exemplified,
Egypts
suffer from consider the biggest place you can find
many
buyer compare with creator that lead to
many
young
man
unemployment to be criminals.
Therefore
, all
government
should be give chances for young
man
to find jobs and
change
mindset of new generation by
improve
the education
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IELTS essay People to open their minds to learn new skills

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
94 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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