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Nowadays many peoe are not getting enough sleep. What are the problems and what can be done to resolve all these problems

Nowadays many peoe are not getting enough sleep. What are the problems and what can be done to resolve all these problems k6KMW
Sleep is the best meditation. However, the majority of people can not tend to get enough sleep. Lack of sleep causes mental and physical health issues. To being with that nowadays people do lack sleep because of jobs pressures are the main due to the fact they were deprive due to the promotion and lack of salaries in fact of doing overtime work. And also responsibilities of homes and take care of children getting enough to sleep. However, in this era, the traffic congestion is the main cause of sleep people stuck hours and hours, and they can not reach at the time with that they can not give proper time to anyone. Furthermore, numerous of the youngster using mobile phones laptops to watch television all night which may also a lack of sleep. Moreover, lack of sleep causes severe health problems like heart attack hypertension diabetes stroke and also depression, and lack of sleep effect on the brain which may person lose their temper which is extremely common these days. So getting rid of these do exercise yoga join gyms and the main thing do meditation on a daily basis which may cause relaxation and low down the stress level so people getting well sleep. To sum up, that sleep is the essential part of our life to getting good sleep causes a number of works easily human beings look like a fresh and make contraction in their work and the spend much time with their family. consequently doing exercise and gyms which is good for health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sleep
is the best meditation.
However
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
mental and physical health issues.

To being with that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of jobs pressures are the main due to the fact they were
Consider using a past participle here: "deprived".
deprive
due to the promotion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of salaries in fact of doing overtime

work. And
also
responsibilities of homes and take care of children getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
.
However
, in this era, the traffic congestion is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stuck hours and hours, and they can not

reach at the time with that they can not give proper time to anyone.
Furthermore
, numerous of the youngster using mobile phones laptops to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television all night which may
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of sleep.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
severe health problems like heart attack hypertension diabetes stroke and
also
depression, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
effect on the brain which may person

lose their temper which is
extremely
common these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
getting rid of these do exercise yoga
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
gyms and the main thing do meditation on a daily basis which may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
relaxation and low down the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting well sleep.

To sum up, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
is the essential part of our life to getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
a number of works
easily
human beings look like a fresh and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
contraction in their work and the spend much time with their family.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
consequently
doing exercise and gyms which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health.

IELTS essay Nowadays many peoe are not getting enough sleep. What are the problems and what can be done to resolve all these problems

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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