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People becoming creator rather than buying

People becoming creator rather than buying Knmq1
Nowadays people becoming creator or buyer. In other words, we are spending our days among reading, eating, and buying many things which we are not need it. If they are know true happiness, it is come from help others or fight to get your dreams. For exemplified, Egypt suffers from consider the biggest place you can find many buyer compare with creator that lead to many young man unemployment to be criminals. Therefore, all government should be give chances for young man to find jobs and change mindset of new generation by improve education.
Nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
becoming creator or buyer.
In other words
, we are spending our days among reading, eating, and buying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things which we are not
Consider using a past participle here: "needed".
need
it. If they are
Did you mean "now" or "no"?
know
true happiness, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others or fight to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your dreams. For exemplified, Egypt suffers from consider the biggest place you can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
buyer compare with creator that lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
unemployment to be criminals.
Therefore
, all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be give chances for young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to find jobs and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
mindset of new generation by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
education.

IELTS essay People becoming creator rather than buying

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
94 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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