Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

People spend more on shopping as compared to past. They do not know the value of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

People spend more on shopping as compared to past. They do not know the value of money. PkNjp
Back in days, people gave less preference to shopping and they were shop only necessary things. While nowadays they are become shopaholic and spend more time doing shopping. However, they do not spend their money wisely. I agrees with this statement. In past, there was some reasons why people did not have preference to shopping and why this trend was not in demand. The prominent reason was people were busy because there was less technology present. They were needed more man power. Also, there was no social media, they did not know about the new trends. In other words, advertising was not in use. There was negligible publicity of products so that consumers did not know about products. In addition, products were came in less variety, so there was not much customers. For instance, in 1990 clothes made by Gucci almost contain a month for shipment from one country to another. They only had 5 to 10 pieces in each design. Now in modern days, the influence of technology is the major reason why people are more willing towards shopping. With help of technology now they have leisure time. Advertisements are every where, which attract consumers. With the help of internet people buy product though online apps while just sitting in there home. Companies making good qualities products in huge quantities. As a result, people are tending to shop unnecessary things and waste their hard earning money. For example, a survey conducted by Oxford University in 2019 found that the main part of people's income was invested on shopping. This evidence proof that people do not appreciate the value of money. To conclude with, significant reason had seen why people's behaviour being less shopaholic in past. Whereas, influence of internet, brands seek more attention by people's towards shopping and make their money waste on unnecessary things
Back in days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
preference to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
shopping and
they were shop
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
necessary things. While
The comma is probably missing here: "nowadays, they".
nowadays they
are become
shopaholic and spend more time doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
However
, they do not spend their money
wisely
. I
Possible agreement error -- use base form here: "agree".
agrees
with this statement.

Did you mean: "In the past"?
In past
, there was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not have preference to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and why this trend was not in demand. The prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were busy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
technology present. They
were needed
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
power.
Also
, there was no social media, they did not know about the new trends.
In other words
, advertising was not in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. There was negligible publicity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that consumers did not know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
were
Consider using a past participle here: "come".
came
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
variety,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there was not
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
customers.
For instance
, in 1990 clothes made by Gucci almost contain a month for shipment from one country to another. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
had 5 to 10 pieces in each design.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
in modern days, the influence of technology is the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more willing towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. With
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they have leisure time. Advertisements are
Did you mean "everywhere"?
every where
, which attract consumers. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
though online apps while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sitting in there home.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in huge quantities.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are tending to shop unnecessary things and waste their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
earning money.
For example
, a survey conducted by Oxford University in 2019 found that the main part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's income
was invested
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. This evidence proof that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not appreciate the value of money.

To conclude
with, significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
shopaholic
Did you mean: "in the past"?
in past
. Whereas, influence of internet, brands seek more attention by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their money waste on unnecessary things
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay People spend more on shopping as compared to past. They do not know the value of money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts