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People think a law should exist so that young people under 18 cannot be out after the midnight. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. v.1

People think a law should exist so that young people under 18 cannot be out after the midnight. v. 1
Although there is a section of the society asking for a governing rule, that adolescents should not get out of their homes after 12AM, the other section believes that there will be a negative impact on the young minds if they are confined indoors. However, I believe that, there should be a free hand given to the youngsters, on when to roam around with right virtue. Those who argue that, the youth should be contained in their homes after the midnight, might point out that, it ensures the security of the youngsters. Almost, these minors are inexperienced, and unable to handle the dangerous situations that might prevail at the late nights, they may land into legal troubles very easily. In addition, with this rule in place, parents will feel safe about their kids’ well-being. For example, as per the recent survey of The Hindu, about 68% of the parents voted ‘No’ for sending their kids aged between 12-18 years alone, during late hours of the night. Also, this rule must bring the policing costs and crime rates down. However, I would argue that, this possible law might seem fair from the parent’s perspective, but it's completely against the fundamental rights of this section of youth. In fact, there is a need for these young folks, to learn the ways of the world, and to be ready for taking up any unexpected challenges in life. Instead of this learning, by locking them up inside, society is not giving a fair chance to them to grow and learn. To exemplify this, in many European countries, most parents send their youngsters for a compulsory community service during midnight such as youth-police wings, vigil units. As a result, these practices enhance the thought process and the maturity levels of this young generation. In conclusion, the possibility of making a law limiting the teenagers at home after midnights seem secured and financially helpful to the society, but, the life lessons that can be learnt by giving them freehand seems more appealing and productive in the futuristic aspect. Hence, I would recommend, that the adolescents should be allowed to roam around after midnight, if required, but with a genuine reason.
Although there is a section of the society asking for a governing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
, that adolescents should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of their homes after 12AM, the other section believes that there will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the young minds if they
are confined
indoors.
However
, I believe that, there should be a free hand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the youngsters, on when to roam around with right virtue.

Those who argue that, the youth should
be contained
in their homes after the midnight, might point out that, it ensures the security of the youngsters. Almost, these minors
are inexperienced
, and unable to handle the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situations that might prevail at the late nights, they may land into legal troubles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
.
In addition
, with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
in place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will feel safe about their kids’ well-being.
For example
, as per the recent survey of The Hindu, about 68% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
voted ‘No’ for sending their kids aged between 12-18 years alone, during late hours of the night.
Also
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
bring the policing costs and crime rates down.

However
, I would argue that, this possible law might seem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
perspective,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it's completely against the fundamental rights of this section of youth. In fact, there is a need for these young folks, to learn the ways of the world, and to be ready for taking up any unexpected challenges in life.
Instead
of this learning, by locking them up inside, society is not giving a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
chance to them to grow and learn. To exemplify this, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
European countries, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their youngsters for a compulsory community service during midnight such as youth-police wings, vigil units.
As a result
, these practices enhance the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
process and the maturity levels of this young generation.

In conclusion
, the possibility of making a law limiting the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
at home after
Possible spelling mistake found.
midnights
seem secured and
financially
helpful to the society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, the life lessons that can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
by giving them freehand seems more appealing and productive in the futuristic aspect.
Hence
, I would recommend, that the adolescents should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to roam around after midnight, if required,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with a genuine reason.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay People think a law should exist so that young people under 18 cannot be out after the midnight. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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