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Some people think that a law should exist so that young people under 18 cannot be out after the midnight, others think it should not be. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that a law should exist so that young people under 18 cannot be out after the midnight, others think it should not be. v. 1
Considering the crime rate across the globe, some citizens are saying that young generation under the teenage should be restricted to homes abiding to a law. But, others opine that they should be given freedom to go out at all times to understand the world better. This essay would discuss both the views and provide my opinion in forthcoming paragraphs. On the first hand, the crime rate in urban areas has increased at an alarming rate since last decade. A majority of crimes recorded are showing that the victims are children under the age group of 18 years. Moreover, children are not mentally matured enough to understand the situations that are probing for a crime. Consequently, they cannot take required precautions to avoid those circumstances. To overcome this, government should proactively introduce a law to restrict children going out alone or it should mandate that they should be accompanied by the elders. On the other hand, I agree that the freedom of choice to go out at any time in any country is a basic right of every child. It enables children to think independently and expose to social cultures by participating parties and gatherings with their friends and the outside world. However, due to this cultural expose there are other challenges that are bothering parents in the form of addiction to bad habits like alcohol and drugs. A saying which says "Children are like a clay in potter's hand". Their attitude and behaviours to be continuously monitored and guided by parents or laws to safeguard them. To conclude, even though, it's everyone's right to go out and enjoy as per their wish and will. Considering the current societal situations, there should be a control on children's lives, especially to allow them out at midnights.
Considering the
crime
rate across the globe,
some
citizens are saying that young generation under the teenage should
be restricted
to homes abiding to a law.
But
, others opine that they should be
given
freedom to go out at all times to understand the world better. This essay would discuss both the views and provide my opinion in forthcoming paragraphs.

On the
first
hand, the
crime
rate in urban areas has increased at an alarming rate since last decade. A majority of
crimes
recorded are showing that the victims are
children
under the age group of 18 years.
Moreover
,
children
are not mentally matured
enough
to understand the situations that are probing for a
crime
.
Consequently
, they cannot take required precautions to avoid those circumstances. To overcome this,
government
should
proactively
introduce a law to restrict
children
going out alone or it should mandate that they should
be accompanied
by the elders.

On the other hand
, I
agree
that the freedom of choice to go out at any time in any country is a basic right of every child. It enables
children
to
think
independently
and expose to social cultures by participating parties and gatherings with their friends and the outside world.
However
, due to this cultural expose there are other challenges that are bothering parents in the form of addiction to
bad
habits like alcohol and drugs. A saying which says
"
Children are like a clay in potter's hand
"
. Their attitude and
behaviours
to be
continuously
monitored and guided by parents or laws to safeguard them.

To conclude
,
even though
, it's everyone's right to go out and enjoy as per their wish and will. Considering the
current
societal situations, there should be a control on children's
lives
,
especially
to
allow
them out at
midnights
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people think that a law should exist so that young people under 18 cannot be out after the midnight, others think it should not be. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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