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people tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts and what we can do to change that.

people tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts and what we can do to change that. wna5e
In this essay I am going to analyze why people tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts and what we can do to change that. Nowadays, most of the people are completely practical and see art as a painting or something that is not really serving any purpose that is of use to them. They don't realize that everything that surrounds them is art, since everything in our house, all of our clothes, our cars, were designed by someone. Science studies the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observing and experimenting with new things, and technology is the application of scientific knowledge for practical purposes. Generally in schools, children prefer to go out and experiment with nature instead of sitting behind their desk all day and paint. Businessmen prefer to learn things that are related to their work in order to improve their business, so they just think about art as an activity that entertains people. We all have an interest in music, books and movies, and those are forms of art, so in order for everyone to appreciate art, people need to constantly share their gifts and the values of it, we also should encourage younger generations to keep the love for art alive. Art, science, business and technology are completely connected since all of them are the manifestation of creativity, innovation and imagination. Besides, since we live in a world that is surrounded by science and innovation, artists need to know how to use technology so that they can share their art with more people. Arts help people understand what was the ancient world like, and science, technology and business help us innovate and create a better future for everyone.
In this essay I am going to analyze why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and what we can do to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
that.

Nowadays, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are completely practical and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a painting or something
that is
not
really
serving any purpose
that is
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to them. They don't realize that everything that surrounds them is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, since everything in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, all of our clothes, our cars,
were designed
by someone.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
studies the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observing and experimenting with new things, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is the application of scientific knowledge for practical purposes.

Generally
in schools, children prefer to go out and experiment with nature
instead
of sitting behind their desk all day and paint. Businessmen prefer to learn things that
are related
to their work in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as an activity that entertains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. We all have an interest in music, books and movies, and those are forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in order for everyone to appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
constantly
share their gifts and the values of it, we
also
should encourage younger generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
alive.

Art,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are completely connected since all of them are the manifestation of creativity, innovation and imagination.
Besides
, since we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world that
is surrounded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and innovation, artists need to know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand what was the ancient world like, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us innovate and create a better future for everyone.
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IELTS essay people tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts and what we can do to change that.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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