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People suggest increasing taxes on processed products to improve people's health. What do you think?

People suggest increasing taxes on processed products to improve people's health. What do you think? xaAO9
That a lot of processed food and drink products are comprised of high levels of sugar which can pose deplorable repercussions to people’s health is a pressing issue, whose absolute resolution is nowhere to be found. Some people suggest these sugarcoated things be levied pricier to bail the increase in sugar consumption. In my estimation, that’s a good idea, yet it can’t solve this entrenched trend to the root. Imposing more tariffs on sugary products can make everyone take the price tags into consideration; hence, they will cease to purchase these. The indigent or the underpaid can afford some 5-7-dollar beverages, but they will mull it over if the prices are more than that about 3-4 dollars. Without a doubt, the number of consumption is going to nose-dive. The price can only influence the destitute; nevertheless, it takes no toll on the well-heeled and the affluent, who won’t be bothered with even 10 dollars, let alone 3-4. Should they feel flush, they can fritter away the money in their pockets and lavish on any occasions they fancy. Even though the rich are known to concern for their appearances and won’t take in anything detrimental to their constitutions, it remains to be seen whether they’ll take the crackdown of the government in this ticklish matter seriously. Furthermore, the manufacturing industry is flourishing in its prime, as it has become one of the most prosperous industries in the world and contributes significantly to the country. If this industry is wreaked havoc, no one knows what turmoil can occur. In conclusion, I can assert that this method will work to some extent; however, the issue is nothing short of a conundrum that needs taking better and more decisive measures, such as gradual edification, which can mitigate the grave ramifications and tweak the purview of people more effectually.
That
a lot of
processed food and drink products
are comprised
of high levels of sugar which can pose deplorable repercussions to
people
’s health is a pressing issue, whose absolute resolution is nowhere to
be found
.
Some
people
suggest these sugarcoated things
be levied
pricier to bail the increase in sugar consumption. In my estimation, that’s a
good
idea
,
yet
it can’t solve this entrenched trend to the root.

Imposing more tariffs on sugary products can
make
everyone
take
the price tags into consideration;
hence
, they will cease to
purchase
these. The indigent or the underpaid can afford
some
5-7-dollar beverages,
but
they will mull it over if the prices are more than that about 3-4 dollars. Without a doubt, the number of consumption is going to nose-dive.

The price can
only
influence the destitute;
nevertheless
, it takes no toll on the well-heeled and the affluent, who won’t
be bothered
with even 10 dollars,
let
alone 3-4. Should they feel flush, they can fritter away the money in their pockets and lavish on any occasions they fancy.
Even though
the rich
are known
to concern for their appearances and won’t take in anything detrimental to their constitutions, it remains to be
seen
whether they’ll take the crackdown of the
government
in this ticklish matter
seriously
.

Furthermore
, the manufacturing industry is flourishing in its prime, as it has become one of the most prosperous industries in the world and contributes
significantly
to the country. If this industry
is wreaked
havoc, no one knows what turmoil can occur.

In conclusion
, I can assert that this method will work to
some
extent;
however
, the issue is nothing short of a conundrum that needs taking better and more decisive measures, such as gradual edification, which can mitigate the grave ramifications and tweak the purview of
people
more
effectually
.
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IELTS essay People suggest increasing taxes on processed products to improve people's health. What do you think?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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