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which is more important , protecting old building or building new ones

which is more important, protecting old building or building new ones E7Q7x
In recent years, the topic ‘architecture’ has never failed to attract the crowd’s attention and spark controversy. Some adopt a view that it is more important to build new ones for economic improvement’ while others think conservation of traditional ones are more meaningful. However, to the best of my knowledge, each has both merits and demerits. Therefore, we should consider both sides carefully before we make a decision. Discussed below are several factors supporting my perspective. Foremost, people should realize that building is one of the most important parts of people’s life both economically and socially. It is clear that since the history of humanity’s civilization, the functions of buildings also developed. There are many reasons that we need to care about construction of new buildings. Firstly, it is more convenient. You can see clearly that the newly built apartments have most of things we need for work and leisure such as parks, gymnastics inside. Secondly, newly built buildings have a better sense of safety. Since it is constructed by strong materials with improved technology, it is tolerant to any dangers such as strong wind, heavy rains or even natural disasters. One typically good instance is that buildings in Japan nowadays are constructed to bear tsunamis. Thirdly, newer homes are generally more energy efficient and environmentally friendly. Last but not least, living in a newer house can help you save money due to lower repair and maintenance costs, and less bills used for heating, or electricity However, on the other hand, it is undeniable that newly built buildings have their own disadvantages as well. Firstly, it is quite costly and time-consuming to build new ones. To build new apartments, we need a lot of labour, materials and time that can be used for other purposes. Secondly, the construction process might contribute to pollution and other environmental or social issues. Thirdly, there might be hidden costs (such as associated site costs, landscaping or paying for extras) and uncertainty (like risk of safety). In addition, the old buildings have their own strengths. They are physical remainders of our traditions and cultures, and act as a learning tool for education. Traditional buildings can be a spot for tourism and benefit economy. In a nutshell, it is undeniable that building plays a paramount role in our society both economically and artistically. The quality of structure can be a measure of economic growth. However, everything has two opposing aspects. Concentrating too much on newer structures might lead to loss of our own culture. Therefore, we should balance mindfully between those two aspects and make a suitable decision.
In recent years, the topic ‘architecture’ has never failed to attract the crowd’s attention and spark controversy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
adopt a view that it is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
for economic improvement’ while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
conservation of traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
are more meaningful.
However
, to the best of my knowledge, each has both merits and demerits.
Therefore
, we should consider both sides
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a decision. Discussed below are several factors supporting my perspective.

Foremost,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should realize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
parts of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s life both
economically
and
socially
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that since the history of humanity’s civilization, the functions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
also
developed. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons that we need to care about construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
Firstly
, it is more convenient. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
clearly
that the
newly
built apartments have
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the things") or simply say "most things".
most of things
we need for work and leisure such as parks, gymnastics inside.
Secondly
,
newly
built
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have a better sense of safety. Since it
is constructed
by strong materials with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
technology, it is tolerant to any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
such as strong wind, heavy rains or even natural disasters. One
typically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
instance is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in Japan nowadays
are constructed
to bear tsunamis.
Thirdly
, newer homes are
generally
more energy efficient and
environmentally
friendly. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, living in a newer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you save money due to lower repair and maintenance costs, and
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun bills is countable.
less
bills
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for heating, or
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
electricity


However
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is undeniable that
newly
built
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
disadvantages
as well
.
Firstly
, it is quite costly and time-consuming to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. To build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
apartments, we need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
, materials and time that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
purposes.
Secondly
, the construction process might contribute to pollution and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
environmental or social issues.
Thirdly
, there might
be hidden
costs (such as associated site costs, landscaping or paying for extras) and uncertainty (like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of safety).
In addition
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
strengths. They are physical remainders of our traditions and cultures, and act as a learning tool for education. Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can be a spot for tourism and benefit economy.

In a nutshell, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
plays a paramount role in our society both
economically
and
artistically
. The quality of structure can be a measure of economic growth.

However
, everything has two opposing aspects. Concentrating too much on newer structures might lead to loss of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture.
Therefore
, we should balance
mindfully
between those two aspects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a suitable decision.

IELTS essay which is more important, protecting old building or building new ones

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
432 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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