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People spend too much on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings? What are the importance of these celebration? Do you think people really spend too much? v.3

People spend too much on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings? What are the importance of these celebration? Do you think people really spend too much? v. 3
Celebration and Birthday is very important in human life, also it is memorable and pleasant time for every people. In 21st century human life is too hectic, people have no time to spend with his family and freinds but birthday and weddings gives the opportunity to meet each other and enjoy the time. Actually I does not think people spend too much time and money on birthdayas and weddings. Let begin with, Birthdays is the very beautiful day for every people and people enjoy with his collegues and family members. Due to celebration of the birthday, people are meet to each other, spent time for family members so, people are easily understand to each other. During the birthday people are giving the gift to birthday person so, birthday person feels that peoles are loving to him. Wedding is the memorable day for every couple, because at this time two holy hearts are tie to each other. In weddings people are enjoying the dinner with his best friends also take the photos with the friends. Furthermore, people are not spend more money on such type of occasion, albeit it is depend on economic condition of the person. For example, some people organize grand party for birthday and weddings However, some people organize only ring ceremony for weddings and cake cutting ceremony for birthdays. So, it is depend on human disposition. Same as due to hectic schedule of people. people have less time spent on such occasion, Nevertheless some people are spent more time because of the intimate relationship. In conclusion, It is more plausible to say spending time and money are much dependent on relationship of the people and economic condition on the individual. Finally, in the modern era people are less preliction about the such occasion but still people have love towards his family members and friends so they are mostly attend weddings and birthdays and enjoy the time with the friends.
Celebration and Birthday is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in human life,
also
it is memorable and pleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In 21st century human life is too hectic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
freinds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
birthday and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
gives the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Actually I
The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "do"
does
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money on
Possible spelling mistake found.
birthdayas
and weddings.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Birthdays is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
day for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy with his
Possible spelling mistake found.
collegues
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. Due to celebration of the birthday,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
easily
understand to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. During the birthday
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are giving the gift to birthday person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, birthday person feels that
Possible spelling mistake found.
peoles
The verb 'loving' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are loving
to him.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wedding
is the memorable day for every couple,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
two holy hearts are tie to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are enjoying the dinner with his best friends
also
take the photos with the friends.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not spend more money on such type of occasion, albeit it is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on economic condition of the person.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
organize grand party for birthday and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
organize
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ring ceremony for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
and cake cutting ceremony for birthdays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on human disposition. Same as due to hectic schedule of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
have less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent on such occasion,
Nevertheless
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spent
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the intimate relationship.

In conclusion
, It is more plausible to say spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money are much dependent on relationship of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and economic condition on the individual.
Finally
, in the modern era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less
Possible spelling mistake found.
preliction
about the such occasion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
towards his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members and friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are
mostly
Consider using a past participle here: "attended".
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weddings
and birthdays and enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the friends.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay People spend too much on family celebrations such as birthdays and weddings? What are the importance of these celebration? Do you think people really spend too much? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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