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People spend more and more time at their workplace and don’t spend enough time with family and friends . Why is this happening? What consequences can this have for families and society?

People spend more and more time at their workplace and don’t spend enough time with family and friends. Why is this happening? What consequences can this have for families and society? aANxw
These days, individuals tend to allocate longer duration in offices, leading to an insufficient amount of time with their beloved members. This essay will examine the major causes and effects of this phenomenon. To commence with, spending extended time on campuses can stem from employees’ increasingly colossal workloads. This is because they are required to assume a high volume of work meticulously and productively that take them difficult to finish within the previous working duration to meet the demand of various citizens. Additionally, higher time distribution in workplaces can be elucidated by their distant locations from individual homes. For instance, most laborers whose houses take an above-average amount of time to return will opt for staying at their office instead of sharing their time with family members if they need to be ready for work in few hours since this can be considered time-saving and energy-efficient. In other words, massive workloads and inconvenient location are two leading factors that result in the tendency to stick in workplaces. On the family-scale, extensive duration in industrial campuses can minimize family bonds. Because of having fewer moments together, workers can fail to gain empathy from other individuals, giving rise to misunderstandings and apathy, thus catalyzing arguments, fights, and separation among members. Furthermore, those confining themselves in office rooms for a massive amount of time are more vulnerable to health problems. This can be illustrated by a study from Massey University in March 2015, demonstrating that residents working round the clock in buildings are more prone to incur such physical ailments as backache, shortsightedness, or obesity, and mental issues, including constant stress or depression. Consequently, taking higher duration on campuses can exert several detriments for families and society. In conclusion, the inclination to become indulged in workplaces for a long time can derive from multiple causes and inflict innumerable impacts on both micro and macro scale. It is advised that modern generations should strike a balance between their work at offices and their time with close-knit companions to lead a rewarding and contented life.
These days, individuals tend to allocate longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duration
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
, leading to an insufficient amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their beloved members. This essay will examine the major causes and effects of this phenomenon.

To commence with, spending extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on campuses can stem from employees’
increasingly
colossal workloads. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are required
to assume a high volume of work
meticulously
and
productively
that take them difficult to finish within the previous working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duration
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand of various citizens.
Additionally
, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
distribution in workplaces can
be elucidated
by their distant locations from individual homes.
For instance
, most laborers whose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
take an above-average amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to return will opt for staying at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
instead
of sharing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family members if they need to be ready for work in few hours since this can
be considered
time-saving and energy-efficient.
In other words
, massive workloads and inconvenient location are two leading factors that result in the tendency to stick in workplaces.

On the family-scale, extensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duration
in industrial campuses can minimize family bonds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of having fewer moments together, workers can fail to gain empathy from other individuals, giving rise to misunderstandings and apathy,
thus
catalyzing arguments, fights, and separation among members.
Furthermore
, those confining themselves in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
office
rooms for a massive amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
are more vulnerable to health problems. This can
be illustrated
by a study from Massey University in March 2015, demonstrating that residents working round the clock in buildings are more prone to incur such physical ailments as backache, shortsightedness, or obesity, and mental issues, including constant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
or depression.
Consequently
, taking higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
duration
on campuses can exert several detriments for families and society.

In conclusion
, the inclination to become indulged in workplaces for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can derive from multiple causes and inflict innumerable impacts on both micro and macro scale. It
is advised
that modern generations should strike a balance between their work at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offices
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with close-knit companions to lead a rewarding and contented life.
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IELTS essay People spend more and more time at their workplace and don’t spend enough time with family and friends. Why is this happening? What consequences can this have for families and society?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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