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People spend large amounts of time and money on clothes, hairstyles and make up to change their appearance. Is it important for people to be concerned about the way they look? What are the consequences of focussing on physical appearance?

People spend large amounts of time and money on clothes, hairstyles and make up to change their appearance. Is it important for people to be concerned about the way they look? What are the consequences of focussing on physical appearance? a1XV
A person’s appearance affects what other people think about them and how they view themselves. However, although being aware of your physical appearance can be healthy, there are negative consequences if a person ignores all other aspects of themself or of others. A person’s appearance is important because it can affect the impression they make on other people. For example, some jobs require interaction with customers and other members of the public and in these situations, a good personal appearance is often expected. In addition, by trying to improve the way they look, people can build their self-esteem and feel more confident about themselves. On the other hand, some people are too concerned about their image and often spend a large amount of time and money on fashion and beauty products in order to look attractive. Both men and women feel under pressure to look good and as a result, they may make choices that are harmful to their health. For instance, some women choose to have plastic surgery to improve their physical appearance, while some men may take certain drugs to help them develop a large, muscular body. Another major problem with focusing on external appearances is that it can cause people to judge themselves and others on the basis of appearances alone. As a result, some people may ignore other issues in life such as developing their interests, learning about life and the world, and interacting effectively with others. Thus, physical appearance should only be one small part of a person. In summary, personal appearance is often important in our work and social life. However, some people can become too concerned about their image and this may lead them to neglect other aspects of their lives.
A person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
affects what
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about them and how they view themselves.
However
, although being aware of your physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
can be healthy, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences if a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignores
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects of
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
or of others.

A person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can affect the impression they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs require interaction with customers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
members of the public and in these situations, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.
In addition
, by trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the way they look,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can build their self-esteem and feel more confident about themselves.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are too concerned about their image and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
spend a large amount of time and money on fashion and beauty products in order to look attractive. Both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women feel under pressure to look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
as a result
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
choices that are harmful to their health.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
women choose to have plastic surgery to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
may take certain drugs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them develop a large, muscular body.

Another major problem with focusing on external
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearances
is that it can cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to judge themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
on the basis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearances
alone.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues in life such as developing their interests, learning about life and the world, and interacting
effectively
with others.
Thus
, physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
part of a person.

In summary, personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our work and social life.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can become too concerned about their image and this may lead them to neglect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
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IELTS essay People spend large amounts of time and money on clothes, hairstyles and make up to change their appearance. Is it important for people to be concerned about the way they look? What are the consequences of focussing on physical appearance?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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