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With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extend do you agree?

With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. kODM
Due to the escalating demand for fossil-based fuels, it is thought that unexplored parts of the earth should be opened to increase the supply of such resources, but I fully disagree with this position for the reasons discussed below. Firstly, by opening up access to unexplored areas for usage of oil and gas would increase a global warming. In other words, global temperature is rising gradually due to the excessive use of fossil fuels. As a result, humans can be the threat of extinction. Moreover, if people do not stop the exploitation of natural resources, the green areas that form the lungs of earth would shrink even further. This will also affect people’s health. In addition to that, diseases will spread more quickly and affect more people because of the emission of poisonous gases and other contaminants from factories. Thus, environment as well as people’s health would suffer a lot. Furthermore, instead of spending a large amount of money on finding more fossil fumes resources, funds should be allocated for the research and development of renewable energy sources such as solar, wind, and hydro. Our planet has limited known reserves of these fuels and they are expected to last for not more than a decade while the demand for energy is endless. As a result, investments into renewable energies would be cheeper and more profitable in a further perspective. In conclusion, I am convinced that an idea of digging more areas for oil and gas would not benefit mankind and environment in any way, due to the reasons that it would be a waste of money, as well as it would affect human health, and cause more an environmental problems.
Due to the escalating demand for fossil-based fuels, it is
thought
that unexplored parts of the earth should
be opened
to increase the supply of such resources,
but
I
fully
disagree with this position for the reasons discussed below.

Firstly
, by opening up access to unexplored areas for usage of oil and gas would increase a global warming.
In other words
, global temperature is rising
gradually
due to the excessive
use
of fossil fuels.
As a result
, humans can be the threat of extinction.
Moreover
, if
people
do not
stop
the exploitation of natural resources, the green areas that form the lungs of earth would shrink even
further
. This will
also
affect
people’s
health.
In addition
to that, diseases will spread more
quickly
and
affect
more
people
because
of the emission of poisonous gases and other contaminants from factories.
Thus
, environment
as well
as
people’s
health would suffer a lot.

Furthermore
,
instead
of spending a large amount of money on finding more fossil fumes resources, funds should
be allocated
for the research and development of renewable energy sources such as solar, wind, and hydro. Our planet has limited known reserves of these
fuels and
they are
expected
to last for not more than a decade while the demand for energy is endless.
As a result
, investments into renewable energies would be
cheeper
and more profitable in a
further
perspective.

In conclusion
, I
am convinced
that an
idea
of digging more areas for oil and gas would not benefit mankind and environment in any way, due to the reasons that it would be a waste of money,
as well
as it would affect human health, and cause
more an environmental
problems
.
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IELTS essay With the increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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