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Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. LDV3
Entertainment has become a part of our day-to-day life. Television is taking over the personal time of many individuals along with that making them less active and less socialized with other people. These essays will dicuss about how the soucre of entertainment had more hold on our time and also on our social and physical activities. Most of the people use television as the way of entertainment after long hectic day. All this time is used in watching shows or a series due to which people hardly get to interact with their family and friends because more time is invested into t. v. . As per recent studies, which shows, in early 1900s before the television was invented people were able to spend more time with their loved one even after long working days, as there were no other way to spend their free time. This also explains somewhere the use of television had affected the socializing skills and use of personal time. Excess use of it is not only affecting our social skills but also the physical health of the people. People who tends to spend more time in watching t. v. are likely to avoid other means of entertainment such as reading books, exercising, playing music etc. this leads to the making them less active. Sitting home and watching only shows makes them less productive and all this lead to health issues in later stage of life. To conculed the above discussion we understand that though television is a source of entertainment but if not use wisely it is actually affecting our health and also taking over the productive time from our daily life.
Entertainment has become a part of our day-to-day life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is taking over the personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals along with that making them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
active and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
socialized with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. These essays will
Possible spelling mistake found.
dicuss
about how the
Possible spelling mistake found.
soucre
of entertainment had more hold on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
also
on our social and physical activities.

Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
as the way of entertainment after long hectic day. All this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in watching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
or a series due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to interact with their family and friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is invested
into t. v.
Two consecutive dots
.
As per recent studies, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, in early 1900s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
was invented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were able to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
one even after long working days, as there were no other way to spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
somewhere the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the socializing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of personal time.

Excess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affecting our social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the physical health of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
Did you mean "tend"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'People' should be used.
tends
to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in watching t. v. are likely to avoid other means of entertainment such as reading books, exercising, playing music etc. this leads to the making them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
active. Sitting home and watching
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
less
productive and all this lead to health issues in later stage of life.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
conculed
the above discussion we understand that though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is a source of entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
wisely
it is actually affecting our health and
also
taking over the productive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from our daily life.
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IELTS essay Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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