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People sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? what effect does it have on an individual and on society. v.21

People sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? what effect does it have on an individual and on society. v. 21
In this contemporary era, myriads tend to avoid sleep than when compared a decade ago. This has led to a drastic impact on an individual as well as to the society. This essay will thoroughly analyse the reason behind this concept and the influence it has on a person and to the entire nation. At the outset, masses compete towards the thriving economy depriving sleep in order to increase their living standards. People's bustle life styles have hindered their sleep by engaging in more work hours. Not only is it due to the extra work but also due to the current technological era, technophile have been addicted to the blue light emitted by gadgets which is disrupting their conscious brains. For example, it was stated in the daily newspaper on the 21st of June that many business icons such as Dhammika Perera hardly get enough time to sleep due to continuously engage in business developments. On the other hand, this could adversely impact the life of a certain individual, lack of sleep could arouse psychiatric issues within a person such as anxiety and immense stress. To cite an example, it was reported in a survey held by the university in Colombo that, out of 100 people within a company more than 40% suffer from manifold health issues due to lack of sleep. Furthermore, likewise there is a hinder towards an individual, the same applies towards the society. One of which is that due an unhealthy community, the economy will diminish in productivity resulting in an economic decline. For instance, if labours lack sleep they would not have a clear-mind to engage in their specialized jobs, reducing their efficiency. In conclusion, many deprive sleep in order to exponentially increase their disposable income. However, there are manifold repercussions involved towards an individual and the society which would cause serious health issues and reduce the productivity in the economy.
In this contemporary era, myriads tend to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
than when compared a decade ago. This has led to a drastic impact on an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
as well
as to the society. This essay will
thoroughly
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the reason behind this concept and the influence it has on a person and to the entire nation.

At the outset, masses compete towards the thriving economy depriving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
in order to increase their living standards.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's bustle life styles have hindered their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
by engaging in more work hours. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the extra work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
technological era, technophile have
been addicted
to the blue light emitted by gadgets which is disrupting their conscious brains.
For example
, it
was stated
in the daily newspaper on the 21st of June that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
business icons such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dhammika
Possible spelling mistake found.
Perera
hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to
continuously
engage in business developments.

On the other hand
, this could
adversely
impact the life of a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
could arouse psychiatric issues within a person such as anxiety and immense
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. To cite an example, it
was reported
in a survey held by the university in Colombo that, out of 100
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
within a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
more than 40% suffer from manifold health issues
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to lack of sleep.

Furthermore
,
likewise
there is a hinder towards an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
, the same applies towards the society. One of which is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
an unhealthy community, the economy will diminish in productivity resulting in an economic decline.
For instance
, if
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
lack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
they would not have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
-mind to engage in their specialized jobs, reducing their efficiency.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
deprive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sleep
in order to
exponentially
increase their disposable income.
However
, there are manifold repercussions involved towards an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and the society which would cause serious health issues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the productivity in the economy.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay People sleep less than before in many countries. Why do people sleep less? what effect does it have on an individual and on society. v. 21

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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