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Some people think that the government Is wasting money on the arts and that the money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree? v.2

Some people think that the government Is wasting money on the arts and that the money could be better spent elsewhere. v. 2
According to some people, the government must invest in sectors other than arts as they consider it as a waste of money. I disagree with their thoughts as arts also contribute to the economy of the country and need financial assistance from the respective authority. This essay will elaborate on why the funds invested in the arts are also fruitful and how the governance's support will help the sector. Firstly, art reflects the traditions and culture of a society or a nation. It is equally important to make sure that it is preserved and promoted all the time as it, in turn, keeps the traditions and culture alive. Also, many forms of art not only attract a lot of tourists, but also contribute to the economic development to some extent. So, the government should make every effort to encourage and support the artists, artisans, craftspersons financially whenever required. For instance, Bollywood which is famous for its art of film making, not only reflects the Indian society and its values, but also plays a major contribution to the economy of India. Thus, art forms when encouraged, definitely payback to the nation. Moreover, many other arts such as handlooms, paintings, sculptures and so on, which are renowned across the globe for their unique style and intricate work, attract a lot of tourists. Unfortunately, many art forms are becoming extinct due to lack of boost in terms of money. Though the government is offering financial aid and encouragement to some of these, many still need recognition and promotional support. To cite an example, "Pichwai" paintings, though famous for their unique style as losing their prominence and many painters are facing difficulties selling their artworks to the enthusiasts. Thus, the government should make an effort to improve the present situation and preserve these art forms To sum up, I disagree that the investments made by government on arts is useless as many art forms not only reflect the culture but also contribute to the economy.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
invest in sectors other than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
as they consider it as a waste of money. I disagree with their thoughts as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
also
contribute to the economy of the country and need financial assistance from the respective authority. This essay will elaborate on why the funds invested in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are
also
fruitful and how the governance's support will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the sector.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
reflects the traditions and culture of a society or a nation. It is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that it
is preserved
and promoted all the time as it, in turn,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
the traditions and culture alive.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tourists,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
contribute to the economic development to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
every effort to encourage and support the artists, artisans,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "craftspeople", the plural form of the noun 'craftsperson'?
craftspersons
financially
whenever required.
For instance
, Bollywood which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
of film making, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reflects the Indian society and its values,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
plays a major contribution to the economy of India.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
when encouraged, definitely payback to the nation.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
handlooms
, paintings, sculptures and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, which
are renowned
across the globe for their unique style and intricate work, attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tourists. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
are becoming extinct due to lack of boost in terms of money. Though the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is offering financial aid and encouragement to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of these,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
still
need recognition and promotional support. To cite an example,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pichwai
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
paintings, though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for their unique style as losing their prominence and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
painters are facing difficulties selling their artworks to the enthusiasts.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the present situation and preserve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
forms

To sum up, I disagree that the investments made by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is useless as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forms
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reflect the culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
contribute to the economy.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the government Is wasting money on the arts and that the money could be better spent elsewhere. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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