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People should read only those books that are about real events, real people, and established facts. v.4

People should read only those books that are about real events, real people, and established facts. v. 4
Some people think that fiction books have no use at all. They claim that people should read about real events that took place, real people, and established facts. I have to totally disagree with this statement. From my everyday experience and observation, I can stand that fiction, miracles and fairy tails are required in our life. For several reasons, which I will mention below, I believe that fiction books play an essential role in our life. First of all, it is kind of difficult to imagine a six-year-old child reading about politics or history with the real facts that are not always pleasant. I think that children need miracles and Santa Claus because the real world is too complicated for them. They are too innocent and inexperienced to know the real facts and understand what is a real life about. In addition, I am sure that making a child read only non-fiction books can result in shock. Second of all, following this statement about refusing from reading books about fiction events we also should refuse from festivals, parades, and celebration such holidays as Halloween because most of the characters there are fictional. Moreover, comic books will disappear as well as animated films and fiction movies. The disadvantage of non-fiction lies in the facts that nothing happens to excite the mind and spirit. From the other side, fiction provides a great slope for a mind to think creatively. In conclusion, I think that people need miracles. We can not be satisfied with the only naked truth. Humankind must believe in something and this belief helps people break limits and make new inventions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fiction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
at all. They claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should read about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that took place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and established facts. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
totally
disagree with this statement. From my everyday experience and observation, I can stand that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fiction
, miracles and fairy tails
are required
in our life. For several reasons, which I will mention below, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fiction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
play an essential role in our life.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is kind of difficult to imagine a six-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
child reading about politics or history with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
facts that are not always pleasant. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that children need miracles and Santa Claus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
world is too complicated for them. They are too innocent and inexperienced to know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
facts and understand what is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
life about.
In addition
, I am sure that making a child read
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
non-fiction
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can result in shock.

Second of all, following this statement about refusing from reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fiction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
we
also
should refuse from festivals, parades, and celebration such holidays as Halloween
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the characters there are fictional.
Moreover
, comic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will disappear
as well
as animated films and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fiction
movies. The disadvantage of non-fiction lies in the facts that nothing happens to excite the mind and spirit. From the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fiction
provides a great slope for a mind to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
creatively
.

In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need miracles. We can not
be satisfied
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
naked truth. Humankind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
believe in something and this belief
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
break limits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new inventions.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay People should read only those books that are about real events, real people, and established facts. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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