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people should prefer to eat home~cooked meals rather than food stands or restaurants .

people should prefer to eat home~cooked meals rather than food stands or restaurants. GJLn2
I strongly believe that people should prefer to eat home~cooked meals rather than food stands or restaurants. Home cooked meals have lots of advantages. Firstly, home cooked meals are the most healthier way for eat rather than any other food places. In these days, food stands have too much bad reputation about their oils`. Oils are used by food industry is very cheap, and unhealthy because it is using for a month. If people choose to eat from food stands, they can have lots of health problems like hearth attacks, strokes, and uncontrollable weight gain. For example, Albert who is a volunteer for an experiment at USA. He has tried to eat food stands for a 2 months and he has gained 20 pounds. Then he could not loss these weights and he has turned an obesity person that is very dangerous. Moreover, restaurants are the most expensive way to eat. If a dish of meat cost is 20 $, ıt can be 60$ at restaurants because of taxes, employers `salary and restaurants` rent. In addition, home cooked meals are more cleaner than other places. People can know who is the chef, ıf they eat home cooked meal but at restaurants can not, Peple might find hair or nail from their foods. As a conclusion, because of all these reasons that I mentioned above I definetly support the idea of eating home cooked meals.
I
strongly
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
Possible spelling mistake found.
home~cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stands
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
. Home cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
have lots of advantages.
Firstly
, home cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
are the
Use only "healthier" (without 'most') when you use the comparative.
most healthier
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
rather
than any other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
places. In these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stands
have too much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
reputation about their oils`. Oils are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
industry is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
, and unhealthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is using for a month. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stands
, they can have lots of health problems like hearth attacks, strokes, and uncontrollable weight gain.
For example
, Albert who is a volunteer for an experiment
A determiner is probably missing here: "at the USA".
at USA
. He has tried to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stands
for a 2
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
months and
he has gained
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
20 pounds
. Then he could not
"loss" is a noun. Did you mean the verb "lose" (= 'to lose')?
loss
these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
weights and
he has turned an obesity person
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
are the most expensive way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
. If a dish of meat cost is
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$20".
20 $
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ıt
can be
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$60".
60$
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of taxes, employers `salary and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants`
rent.
In addition
, home cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
are
Use only "cleaner" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more cleaner
than other places.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can know who is the chef,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ıf
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
home cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
can not,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Peple
might find hair or nail from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. As a conclusion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of all these reasons that I mentioned above I
Possible spelling mistake found.
definetly
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of eating home cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
.
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Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay people should prefer to eat home~cooked meals rather than food stands or restaurants.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
234 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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