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People should not buy the foreign products instead they should purchase the products of their own country. Agree or disagree? v.2

People should not buy the foreign products instead they should purchase the products of their own country. Agree or disagree? v. 2
This is era of modernization due to development in world, people have various choices for purchase items of any country. Online shopping assist to consumers to buy what they want. There is no shortage of debate whether people purchase foreign products and own country products. From my vantage point, people should buy the own country product rather than buying foreign products. I feel this way for two reasons which I will explore in following essay. First of all, as based on our knowledge, purchase own country items leads to bolster the country economy as well as items become famous national and international level. Increase products purchaser helps to widespread the knowledge of the items in world. So, foreigners also allure our national products and buy it. It is directly benefits to our country. For example, If one foreigner has great experience about our country products so, he sent message to his friends, and his friends say to other friend. So, gradually products are famous and all people buy it. Increase the demands of product then, surging the production by producers. Eventually, competition occurs and product prices decrease and help to people to purchase lower rate products. Every manufacturing company needs employee so it would increase employment. This ways increase commercialization, to improve economic status of country. Secondly, save money is another advantage to the consumers who buy own country products. For instance, last year, I purchased t-shirt in local market only 200 rupees and next day, I seen same t-shirt on the international company mall, it price 500 rupees. Some brand company misuse the brand name. Same material uses on both country but they take money from the customer for brand name. Accordingly, I think that purchase own country products is cheaper and save our money. Moreover, some time wasting of money to purchasing foreign products. My own experience compelling this, one year ago, I wanted head phone and I seen head phone which is made in china, it was cheaper so, I purchased it. When, I came home, I started to listening song; suddenly music voice was blurring and stopped to music played. I tried to use many time but it was not started. For this reasons, I believe that buying own country product because of quality of the products standard and more efficient. In conclusion, I strongly believe that people should purchase national product rather than buying international products. This is because consumers save money and get the good quality of products, and support the country economy and commercialization.
This is era of modernization due to development in world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have various choices for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Online shopping assist to consumers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
what they want. There is no shortage of debate whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. From my vantage point,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
rather
than buying foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. I feel this way for two reasons which I will explore in following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, as based on our knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
leads to bolster the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
economy
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
national and international level.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
purchaser
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to widespread the knowledge of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
in world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, foreigners
also
allure our national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it. It is
directly
benefits to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, If one foreigner has great experience about our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
message to his friends, and his friends say to other friend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
gradually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Increase
the demands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
then, surging the production by producers.
Eventually
, competition occurs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
prices decrease and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
lower rate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Every manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
needs employee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
employment.
Did you mean "these"?
This
ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
commercialization, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
economic status of country.

Secondly
, save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is another advantage to the consumers who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
, last year, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
t-shirt in local market
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
200 rupees and
next
day, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
same t-shirt on the international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
mall, it
Did you mean "prices"?
price
500 rupees.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
brand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
misuse the brand name. Same material
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from the customer for brand name.
Accordingly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is cheaper and save our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time wasting
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to purchasing foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience compelling this, one year ago, I wanted head phone and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
head phone which
is made
in
Capitalize this word if you mean the country, not white porcelain.
china
, it was cheaper
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
it. When, I came home, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to listening song;
suddenly
music voice was blurring and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
to music played. I tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible agreement error. The noun time seems to be countable; consider using: "many times".
many time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it was not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
. For
Did you mean "these"?
this
reasons, I believe that buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
standard and more efficient.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
rather
than buying international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
consumers save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, and support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
economy and commercialization.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay People should not buy the foreign products instead they should purchase the products of their own country. Agree or disagree? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
421 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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