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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People should buy things that are made in their own country, even if the price of these products is higher than that of the products made in other countries.

People should buy things that are made in their own country, even if the price of these products is higher than that of the products made in other countries. DNMBp
There is a controversial debate over whether or not people should buy domestic products without paying attention to their price. People around us are divided into two groups. The first one think that despite products’ higher price in comparison with foreign goods, it should be to purchase product that are made in their own country, while the second group take the opposite view. Both of these two contradictory ideas have some conceivable reasons. However, from my point of view, I do believe that the merits of buying domestic product is more than the other choice because of two compelling reasons that will be explained in the following paragraphs. First and the foremost reason that I agree with purchasing local products is that it exerts a positive influence on economic growth. If people bought products that are manufactured in their own country, a great deal of money would be available to spent on domestic issues. In other words, now that people’s money does not devote to buying foreign products, the working capital in that country would increase significantly. This suitable situation provides a golden opportunity for the government to extend the range of its investments and improve the quality of them, since they are provided with more money. For instance, if a government have more money resources, they will be able to allocate it to various means such as building more factories in order to produce industrial products. So, they are able to export these products to foreign countries, which results in earning more money, and drastically enhancing the economy of that country. The final reason is that it improves the quality of country’s products. When people are more keen on purchasing products of their own country, intense competitions take place between domestic producers in order to sell as much as possible and make profit. Thus, each of them continuously try to improve the quality of their products as much as possible to be able to attract more customers. As a results, products quality will significantly enhance in comparison with the previous ones. As an example, in my own country, due to some limitation, the government was not capable of importing some necessary commodities. In addition, people of my country were not satisfied with the quality of several existing goods. Therefore, in order to meet the citizens’ requirements, a number of constructive changes were occurred by manufacturer which leaded to increasing both the quality and their selling rate. Consequently, I prefer buying products that are made in my own country no matter how expensive they are. In conclusion, based on above mentioned reason, I firmly believe that it would be better if people purchase products of their own country. Because not only does it exerts a positive effect on country’s economic, but also the quality of good in a country will considerably become better.
There is a controversial debate over
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
without paying attention to their price.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
around us
are divided
into two groups. The
first
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that despite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products’
higher price
in comparison
with foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, it should be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that
are made
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, while the second group take the opposite view. Both of these two contradictory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conceivable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
However
, from my point of view, I do believe that the merits of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is more than the other choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the following paragraphs.

First
and the foremost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with purchasing local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is that it exerts a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on economic growth. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that
are manufactured
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, a great deal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would be available to spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
issues.
In other words
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
does not devote to buying foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, the working capital in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
would increase
significantly
. This suitable situation provides a golden opportunity for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to extend the range of its investments and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of them, since they
are provided
with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For instance
, if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
resources, they will be able to allocate it to various means such as building more factories in order to produce industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they are able to export these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, which results in earning more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, and
drastically
enhancing the economy of that country.

The final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more keen on purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, intense competitions take place between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
domestic
producers in order to sell as much as possible and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
profit.
Thus
, each of them
continuously
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as much as possible to be able to attract more customers. As
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a result" or simply "results"?
a results
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
will
significantly
enhance
in comparison
with the previous ones. As an example, in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limitation, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
was not capable of importing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
necessary commodities.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
were not satisfied with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of several existing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Therefore
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the citizens’ requirements, a number of constructive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
were occurred
by manufacturer which leaded to increasing both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and their selling rate.
Consequently
, I prefer buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that
are made
in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
no matter how expensive they are.

In conclusion
, based on above mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, I
firmly
believe that it would be better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does it
Did you mean "exert"? As 'do' is already inflected, the verb cannot also be inflected.
exerts
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will
considerably
become better.
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IELTS essay People should buy things that are made in their own country, even if the price of these products is higher than that of the products made in other countries.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
473 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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