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It is generally accepted that the families are not as close as they used to be. Do you agree or disagree?

It is generally accepted that the families are not as close as they used to be. gDy6l
The importance of joint families which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the structure of the families is shifting from joint to nuclear. Analyzing the statement and explaining further, the first and foremost reason behind this is that due to heavy industrialization, there is modernization which generates global job opportunities. Another striking benefit in this regard is that due to job opportunities people migrate for better future. Categorically discussing, it cannot be ignored that the main reason behind this is that after migration there is a strong impact of global culture and people dislike interference and sharing so, the structure of the family changes. Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems from the fact is that during past, the families were homogeneous and the business was common. Moving further, it is pertinent to mention that nowadays the culture is heterogeneous and people prefer independent growth. Moreover, people prefer to work according to their qualification, interest and ability. So, the family business is not common and the income is not clubbed. To recapitulate, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach to a conclusion that it is sad to observe that structure of the family is changing from joint to nuclear.
The importance of joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
which was always debatable has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become more controversial with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. The substantial influence of this trend has sparked the controversy over the potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the structure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is shifting from joint to nuclear.

Analyzing the statement and explaining
further
, the
first
and foremost reason behind this is that due to heavy industrialization, there is modernization which generates global job opportunities. Another striking benefit in this regard is that due to job opportunities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate for better future.
Categorically
discussing, it cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
that the main reason behind this is that after migration there is a strong impact of global culture and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dislike interference and sharing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, the structure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.

Probing ahead, one of the main underlying reasons stems from the fact is that during past, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
were homogeneous and the business was common. Moving
further
, it is pertinent to mention that nowadays the culture is heterogeneous and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer independent growth.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to work according to their qualification, interest and ability.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
business is not common and the income is not clubbed.

To recapitulate, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach to a conclusion that it is sad to observe that structure of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is changing from joint to nuclear.

IELTS essay It is generally accepted that the families are not as close as they used to be.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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