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People should be encouraged to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the countryside.to what extend do you agree or disagree?

People should be encouraged to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the countryside. GMLgw
It will add value to the community who reside in the cities rather than outskirts or in the countryside. I agree with this statement that there is a lot of opportunity in the cities for those who decide to live there. Firstly, there is an offer of greater employment possibility and higher standard of living in the city, as this is where most organization and government facilities are located thus many job opportunities. In addition, there is better medical attention because of better medical infrastructure as well as availability of specialist in this facilities. Indeed there is better access to education facilities since big learning institution are in the city and latest technologies because of internet connection. For example, A research done by the Nairobi university shows that 95% of graduate would prefer to live in the city after graduating. Therefore, there is greater and competitive employment and high standard of living. Secondly, life in the cities is crowded therefor it can be a bit stressful. In addition there is pollution and often quite noisy. This is overwhelming for city dwellers as many people will not be able to rent big houses because they are expensive and thus there is overcrowding in small houses. For example research done by a master student in Nairobi university show 70% of retirees would prefer to live in countryside. Therefore life in the city is expensive and crowded. In conclusion, the community that lives in the city has greater opportunity and become for efficient in their daily activities due to better infrastructure and education opportunity in the cities. Perhaps it is more enjoyable to live in the city than is suburbs.
It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
value to the community who reside in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
rather
than outskirts or in the countryside. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for those who decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
there.

Firstly
, there is an offer of greater employment possibility and higher standard of living in the city, as this is where most organization and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
facilities
are located
thus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
.
In addition
, there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
medical attention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
medical infrastructure
as well
as availability of specialist in
Did you mean "these"?
this
facilities.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
access to education facilities since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
learning institution are in the city and latest technologies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of internet connection.
For example
, A research done by the Nairobi university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 95% of graduate would prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the city after graduating.
Therefore
, there is greater and competitive employment and high standard of living.

Secondly
, life in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is crowded
therefor it can be a bit stressful. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
there is pollution and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
quite noisy. This is overwhelming for city dwellers as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will not be able to rent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are expensive and
thus
there is overcrowding in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.
For example
research done by a master student in Nairobi university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
70% of retirees would prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in countryside.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
life in the city is expensive and crowded.

In conclusion
, the community that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in the city has greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
and become for efficient in their daily activities due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
infrastructure and education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Perhaps it is more enjoyable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the city than is suburbs.
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IELTS essay People should be encouraged to live in cities rather than in suburbs or in the countryside.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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