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People prefer buying a own house instead of rental home. Did you agree or disagree?

People prefer buying a own house instead of rental home. Did you agree or disagree? kQMN
All over the world, almost every creature need shelter to live and do the things as they want without any disturbance. Likewise, human beings also in need to have a house to enjoy their time with family and friends. We have an option to rent and own a home. Being a tenant in the rental house is cost effective in most of the cases such as house tax, water tax and some more. Because it is not necessary to pay for such things as we are not owning the home. On the other hand, We need to pay a considerable amount in certain scenarios like electricity bill and maintenance cost which is more than normal rate based on the owner’s agreement. Also, We have a lot more restrictions while making some changes in the interior parts as per our convenience. Some people will allow the alterations. But most of the cases, they don’t. Even we can not partying with friends and could not enjoy as per our likings. Finally, Some owners never allow pets in their apartments. However, We do not bother about anything if you have a own home. As per our wish, We can live our life without any disturbance. Same way, We can enjoy each and every thing in our home without any restrictions. We can paint the walls as per our taste. That will enhance our mood without knowing to us. Some colorful paintings brings joy and we can enjoy and celebrate the festivals without any issues. Before buying a own house, we should consider some of the important things which we need to sacrifice some amount of money for our happiness and related to the taxes which should be paid to the government. Every year, We have to save money for the home maintenance as well. Spending money in our own house will not be an issue for people. In my aspect, owning a house is a positive situation where everbody has the desire to get the property even if it is small or luxurious. To achieve that, it needs a lot of hardwork and perseverance. Obviously we should encourage their definite goals. Also, they have to pay taxes which increases the government revenue to maintain the cities in proper manner. Perhaps, that is a positive note from the country development perspective.
All over the world, almost every creature
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
shelter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and do the things as they want without any disturbance.
Likewise
, human beings
also
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
their time with family and friends.

We have an option to rent and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a home. Being a tenant in the rental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is cost
effective in most of the cases such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
, water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is not necessary to pay for such things as we
The verb 'owning' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are not owning
the home.
On the other hand
, We
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to pay a considerable amount in certain scenarios like electricity bill and maintenance cost which is more than normal rate based on the owner’s agreement.
Also
, We have a lot more restrictions while making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the interior parts as per our convenience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the alterations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
most of the cases, they don’t. Even we can not
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "party"
partying
with friends and could not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
as per our
Possible spelling mistake found.
likings
.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
owners never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
pets in their apartments.

However
, We do not bother about anything if you have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home. As per our wish, We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
our life without any disturbance. Same way, We can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
each and every thing in our home without any restrictions. We can paint the walls as per our taste. That will enhance our mood without knowing to us.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
colorful paintings
You should probably use "bring".
brings
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
joy and
we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
and celebrate the festivals without any issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
buying
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, we should consider
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things which we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to sacrifice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of money for our happiness and related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
which should
be paid
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Every year, We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
save money for the home maintenance
as well
. Spending money in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
will not be an issue for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In my aspect, owning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
situation where
Possible spelling mistake found.
everbody
has the desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the property even if it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
or luxurious. To achieve that, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
hardwork
and perseverance.
Obviously
we should encourage their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
goals.
Also
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
which increases the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
revenue to maintain the cities in proper manner. Perhaps,
that is
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
note from the country development perspective.

IELTS essay People prefer buying a own house instead of rental home. Did you agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
387 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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