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PEOPLE ONLY STOP WORRYING ABOUT MONEY WHEN THEY HAVE ENOUGH. DISCUSS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

PEOPLE ONLY STOP WORRYING ABOUT MONEY WHEN THEY HAVE ENOUGH. DISCUSS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION. Lbe06
With the development of society, we cannot deny the fact that money is an important tool. It does not buy happiness but it is a necessary tool that enables you to survive, to protect yourself, to build yourself and your family a better life and to give back to your community. Whatever we feel about money, people with money or the pursuit of money, we always feel to have a heavy burden placing on our shoulders. The more you have, the more you want and people’s bottomless cupidity of money will never stop until you have a lot of it. Money is so important but whether it is vital to worry about money or not remains controversial. On the one hand, concerning about money brings about some certain advantages. Worrying about money enables to help us to know how much we have and how much we must try to realize our aspirations. It also helps us to improve our thrift and succeed in financial problems. On the other hand, worrying all the time about money can become a bad habit that you find difficult to get out of, the what if’s constantly filling your brain. The constant anxiety about money means you are never at rest. Your brain is always on the go, worrying about the what if’s, the how’s and the why’s. No energy, feeling disconnected from others leads to the very enjoyment of your life being slowly destroyed and taken away from you. Money worries will not let you enjoy life, there is too much to think about, to worry about, to enjoy yourself. Moreover, studies are showing that money stress is a factor in more health issues than we realize, like diabetes, migraines, cardiovascular disease, sleeplessness and more. What’s worse is that more people are putting off going to the doctor due to the expense. Therefore, it is a vicious cycle and a real health problem. In addition, your mind is not free from the effects of this anxiety. Anxiety, depression, turning to alcohol to numb the mental pain are all symptoms. You turn on yourself, finding fault with everything you do. With all the reasons I have mentioned above, it is not significant to worry about money even when you do not have a lot of it. Just need to stay active and enjoy your present life is also an inestimable property that money can never buy.
With the development of society, we cannot deny the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
tool. It does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is a necessary tool that enables you to survive, to protect yourself, to build yourself and your family a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and to give back to your community. Whatever we feel about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or the pursuit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, we always feel to have a heavy burden placing on our shoulders. The more you have, the more you want and
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "peoples"?
people’s
bottomless cupidity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
until you have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
it.

Money is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
whether it is vital to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worry
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
or not remains controversial. On the one hand, concerning about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
brings about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain advantages. Worrying about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
enables to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to know how much we have and how much we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
try to realize our aspirations. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our thrift and succeed in financial problems.
On the other hand
, worrying all the time about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit that you find difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of, the what if’s
constantly
filling your brain. The constant anxiety about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
means you are never at rest. Your brain is always on the go, worrying about the what if’s,
Did you mean "how"?
the how
’s and
Did you mean "why"?
the why
’s. No energy, feeling disconnected from others leads to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
enjoyment of your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
being
slowly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
and taken away from you.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worries
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
you enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, there is too much to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worry
about, to enjoy yourself.
Moreover
, studies are showing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
is a factor in more health issues than we realize, like diabetes, migraines, cardiovascular disease, sleeplessness and more. What’s worse is that more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are putting off going to the doctor due to the expense.
Therefore
, it is a vicious cycle and a real health problem.
In addition
, your mind is not free from the effects of this anxiety. Anxiety, depression, turning to alcohol to numb the mental pain are all symptoms. You turn on yourself, finding fault with everything you do.

With all the reasons I have mentioned above, it is not significant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worry
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
even when you do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
need to stay active and enjoy your present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
also
an inestimable property that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
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IELTS essay PEOPLE ONLY STOP WORRYING ABOUT MONEY WHEN THEY HAVE ENOUGH. DISCUSS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
401 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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