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PEOPLE NOWADAYS TEND TO HAVE CHILDREN AT OLDER AGES. ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES?

PEOPLE NOWADAYS TEND TO HAVE CHILDREN AT OLDER AGES. ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES? 86xPG
IN RECENT TIMES, MANY PEOPLE ARE WILLING TO HAVE CHILDREN LATER IN LIFE. CONSIDERING THE GAIN OF NOT HAVING A CHILD AT EARLY STAGE IS THAT THERE WILL BE LESS FINANCIAL CRISIS ALTHOUGH THE PEOPLE WILL REGRET THE DELAY OF EXPERIENCING THE STAGES OF NEWBORN CHILD. IN MY OPINION, THE ADVANTAGE OF NOT HAVING A CHILD AT EARLY LIFE OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES DESPITE THE EXPERIENCE OF RAISING A CHILD. THE MOST SIGNIFICANT BENEFIT IS PEOPLE WILL GAIN MATURITY AND OPPORTUNITY OVER A PERIOD. MANY PEOPLE WILL FOCUS ON CAREER IN THEIR EARLY LIFE WHICH LEAD THEM TO HAVE A VICTORIOUS LIFESTYLE. MOREOVER, AS AN YOUNG BLOOD, INDIVIDUALS FOCUS ON ADVENTURE, HOWEVER, MANY PEOPLE TEND TO CONCENTRATE ON THEIR PROFESSIONAL LIFE RATHER THAN PERSONAL LIFE. BEING FOCUSED ON CAREER WILL IMPROVE THEMSELVES AS A PERSON WITH DIGNITY AND DISCIPLINE OTHERWISE IMPOSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE THE RESPONSIBILITY IN THEIR EARLY’S. FOR INSTANCE, AS A WORKING WOMEN, IT IS UNCOMPLICATED TO ACCEPT ANY SORT OF PROMOTION IN WORK BECAUSE IT HELPS TO BE A OPEN MINDED PERSON AND CHALLENGING EXPERIENCE THAN HAVING A NARROW THOUGHT. THESE CHALLENGES DEVELOPS THE RESPONSIBILITY AND THE MAIN ADVANTAGE OF HAVING CHILDREN AT OLDER AGES BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL ALSO BE FINANCIALLY STABLE. NEVERTHELESS, THE MAIN DISADVANTAGE OF HAVING A CHILD AT OLDER AGES, MANY WILL FACE SOME KIND OF MEDICAL ISSUSE DUE TO THEIR OLDER AGE AS HUMAN BODY GO THROUGH CHANGES. FURTHERMORE, THE NATURAL RISK IS THAT THEY MIGHT END UP NOT CONCEIVING. IN ADDITION, PEOPLE WILL REGRET THE DECISION OF HAVING BABIES AT OLDER AGES WILL EVLOVE INSIDE THEIR BRAIN AND MIGHT DESTROY THEM MENTALLY HOWEVER, THE POSSIBILITY OF NOT CONCEIVING IS LOWER IN TODAYS WORLD AS NEW TECHNOLOGIES EXISTS. FOR EXAMPLE, DUE TO HEALTH PROBLEM AND MENTAL HEALTH IN THEIR OLDER AGE, A WOMEN IS UNABLE TO CONCEIVE THEN THE CONSEQUENCES FACED BY THE FAMILY IS LIMITLESS SUCH AS PHYSICAL PAIN AND MENTAL PAIN YET THE ADVANCE IN FERTILITY SCIENCE MADE IS POSSIBLE WHICH HELPED THE PEOPLE TO OVERCOME THE FEAR. IN CONCLUSION, CONSIDERING THE FINANCIAL SUPPORT AND OTHER FACTORS SUCH RESPONSIBILITY, DIGNITY AND DISCIPLINE, IT IS A POSITIVE CAUSE DESPITE THE ADVENTURE OF RAISING A CHILD. OVERALL, THIS CHANGE IS AN ADVANTAGE FOR MANY PEOPLE.
IN RECENT TIMES,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
ARE WILLING TO HAVE CHILDREN LATER IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
. CONSIDERING THE GAIN OF NOT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HAVING
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILD
AT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EARLY
STAGE IS THAT THERE WILL BE LESS FINANCIAL CRISIS ALTHOUGH THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
WILL REGRET THE DELAY OF EXPERIENCING THE STAGES OF NEWBORN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILD
. IN MY OPINION, THE ADVANTAGE OF NOT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HAVING
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILD
AT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EARLY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
OUTWEIGH THE DISADVANTAGES DESPITE THE EXPERIENCE OF RAISING A CHILD.

THE MOST SIGNIFICANT BENEFIT IS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
WILL GAIN MATURITY AND OPPORTUNITY OVER A PERIOD.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
WILL FOCUS ON CAREER IN THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EARLY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
WHICH LEAD THEM TO HAVE A VICTORIOUS LIFESTYLE.
MOREOVER
, AS AN YOUNG BLOOD, INDIVIDUALS FOCUS ON ADVENTURE,
HOWEVER
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TEND TO CONCENTRATE ON THEIR PROFESSIONAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
RATHER
THAN PERSONAL
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
.
BEING FOCUSED
ON CAREER WILL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IMPROVE
THEMSELVES AS A PERSON WITH DIGNITY AND DISCIPLINE
OTHERWISE
IMPOSSIBLE TO ACHIEVE THE RESPONSIBILITY IN THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EARLY’S
.
FOR INSTANCE
, AS A WORKING
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "woman"?
WOMEN
, IT
IS UNCOMPLICATED
TO ACCEPT ANY SORT OF PROMOTION IN WORK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELPS
TO BE A
Make sure that the adjective 'OPEN' is correct. Possibly, it should be an adverb (typically ~ly) that modifies 'MINDED'. Possibly, it should be the first word in a compound adjective (hyphenated adjective). Possibly, it is correct.
OPEN MINDED
PERSON AND CHALLENGING EXPERIENCE THAN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HAVING
A NARROW
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
THOUGHT
. THESE CHALLENGES
You should probably use "develop".
DEVELOPS
THE RESPONSIBILITY AND THE MAIN ADVANTAGE OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HAVING
CHILDREN AT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OLDER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
AGES
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
WILL
ALSO
BE
FINANCIALLY
STABLE.

NEVERTHELESS
, THE MAIN DISADVANTAGE OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HAVING
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILD
AT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OLDER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
AGES
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
WILL FACE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
KIND OF MEDICAL
Possible spelling mistake found.
ISSUSE
DUE TO THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OLDER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
AGE
AS HUMAN BODY GO THROUGH
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CHANGES
.
FURTHERMORE
, THE NATURAL
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
RISK
IS THAT THEY MIGHT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
END
UP NOT CONCEIVING.
IN ADDITION
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
WILL REGRET THE DECISION OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
HAVING
BABIES AT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OLDER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
AGES
WILL
Possible spelling mistake found.
EVLOVE
INSIDE THEIR BRAIN AND MIGHT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
DESTROY
THEM MENTALLY
HOWEVER
, THE POSSIBILITY OF NOT CONCEIVING IS LOWER IN
Possible spelling mistake found.
TODAYS
WORLD AS NEW TECHNOLOGIES EXISTS.
FOR EXAMPLE
,

DUE TO HEALTH PROBLEM AND MENTAL HEALTH IN THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OLDER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
AGE
, A
'woman' is the singular form of 'women'. Consider using "woman".
WOMEN
IS UNABLE TO CONCEIVE THEN THE CONSEQUENCES FACED BY THE FAMILY IS LIMITLESS SUCH AS PHYSICAL PAIN AND MENTAL PAIN
YET
THE ADVANCE IN FERTILITY SCIENCE MADE IS POSSIBLE WHICH
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HELPED
THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TO OVERCOME THE FEAR.

IN CONCLUSION
, CONSIDERING THE FINANCIAL SUPPORT AND OTHER FACTORS SUCH RESPONSIBILITY, DIGNITY AND DISCIPLINE, IT IS A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
POSITIVE
CAUSE DESPITE THE ADVENTURE OF RAISING A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CHILD
.
OVERALL
, THIS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CHANGE
IS AN ADVANTAGE FOR
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
.
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IELTS essay PEOPLE NOWADAYS TEND TO HAVE CHILDREN AT OLDER AGES. ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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