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People nowadays prefer to interact online (e. g. do shopping, chat with friends) rather than talking to other people face-to-face. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? v.2

People nowadays prefer to interact online (e. g. do shopping, chat with friends) rather than talking to other people face-to-face. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 2
Modern ways of communication has evolved with the passage of time and people are actively adopting these trends. It has observed that these days personal interaction among people seem to be taking over by online connection. This is occurring because of advancements in technology and it should be seen as negative development because it reduces people's personal communication skills. Firstly, due to digitalization of world, communication trend has significantly changed. Now People rely on the internet because of its fastest features. For example, social media has made instant access to any corner of the world; they are connecting with their friends who are across the boundaries as well as shopping is possible from home. Moreover, online delivery of food at homes has virtually eliminated the need of moving out with fellows. As a result, they have become addicted to these appealing features that have diminished the communication gap among people who are far away but unfortunately has increased from whom who are sitting beside them. Secondly, everyone is highly influenced by these advanced resources although these are costing speaking skills with people personally. New generation has become paralyzed before these advancements. To illustrate, their personality is not being properly build up as they are engaged in online interaction, so they lack direct link with others. Consequently, it leads to poor speaking power in private as well as in front of large audience with not enough confidence. In conclusion, technology has facilitated our lives undoubtedly whereas there are some drawbacks which include taking away our personality characteristics. It is a common saying, excess of everything is bad so there must be a balance between personal and online interaction.
Modern ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
has evolved with the passage of time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
actively
adopting these trends. It has observed that these days personal interaction among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seem to be taking over by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
connection. This is occurring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of advancements in technology and it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Firstly
, due to digitalization of world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
trend has
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
rely on the internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its fastest features.
For example
, social media has made instant access to any corner of the world; they are connecting with their friends who are across the boundaries
as well
as shopping is possible from home.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
delivery of food at homes has
virtually
eliminated the need of moving out with fellows.
As a result
, they have become addicted to these appealing features that have diminished the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
gap among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are far away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately has increased from whom who are sitting beside them.

Secondly
, everyone is
highly
influenced by these advanced resources although these are costing speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
personally
. New generation has become paralyzed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
these advancements. To illustrate, their personality is not being
properly
Consider using a past participle here: "built".
build
up as they
are engaged
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
interaction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they lack direct link with others.
Consequently
, it leads to poor speaking power in private
as well
as in front of large audience with not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
confidence.

In conclusion
, technology has facilitated our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
undoubtedly
whereas there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks which include taking away our personality characteristics. It is a common saying, excess of everything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a balance between personal and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
interaction.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay People nowadays prefer to interact online (e. g. do shopping, chat with friends) rather than talking to other people face-to-face. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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