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People nowadays are used to disposable items meaning that they use things for short time and throw them away. What do you think is the cause of this and what problems can it lead to? v.3

People nowadays are used to disposable items meaning that they use things for short time and throw them away. What do you think is the cause of this and what problems can it lead to? v. 3
It has been proposed that the authorities should consider the reduction of funds allocated for local environmental matters and rather improve the investment in tackling the more crucial and high priority issues such as global warming. In my opinion, all environmental dilemmas should be considered as an emergency and appropriate fund allocated in curbing their effects. For a variety of reasons, it would be logical to decrease the expenditure on local environmental concerns. Firstly, these matters can be allocated to local authorities, who might require a minimal budget to offset the adverse consequences encountered from these problems. As a result, funds are preserved and relocated to more crucial aspects of the economy. Secondly, the responsibility for tackling local problems which could include inappropriate waste disposal, recycling of non- degradable refuse and noise pollution can be saddled with locally trained environmentalists. These individuals have an environmental problem solving skill set which can be exploited in the face of disasters. Thus, minimizing the financial strain on the government to employ expatriates. Likewise, there are myriads of reason why funding should be increased for crucial environmental issues. One of such reasons is that more life threatening environmental problems may impose a greater threat to the existence of mankind. For example, when Wuhan, China, in 2008, was hit with a 10. A magnitude earthquake, the Government invested enormously in anti- earthquake gadgets and building structures. These helped to detect quakes early and also curb its effect. In my opinion, politicians should consider the allocation of equal amount of resources to all environmental problems as they are all referred to as an emergency. Because appropriating adequate funds to all issues would seem to have a long term positive effect. In conclusion, while the gravity and funding of environmental problems may vary, they should all be considered as an emergency with grave consequences and appropriate funds should be rendered to all issues. Provided that this is implemented, lesser concerns would be encountered from the repercussions of environmental disasters.
It has
been proposed
that the authorities should consider the reduction of funds allocated for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
matters and
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the investment in tackling the more crucial and high priority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
such as global warming. In my opinion, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
dilemmas should
be considered
as an emergency and appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
allocated in curbing their effects.

For a variety of reasons, it would be logical to decrease the expenditure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
concerns.
Firstly
, these matters can
be allocated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
authorities, who might require a minimal budget to offset the adverse consequences encountered from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
As a result
, funds
are preserved
and relocated to more crucial aspects of the economy.
Secondly
, the responsibility for tackling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which could include inappropriate waste disposal, recycling of non- degradable refuse and noise pollution can
be saddled
with
locally
trained environmentalists. These individuals have an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
set which can
be exploited
in the face of disasters.
Thus
, minimizing the financial strain on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to employ expatriates.

Likewise
, there are myriads of reason why funding should
be increased
for crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. One of such reasons is that more life threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
may impose a greater threat to the existence of mankind.
For example
, when Wuhan, China, in 2008,
was hit
with a 10. A magnitude earthquake, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
invested
enormously
in anti- earthquake gadgets and building structures. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to detect quakes early and
also
curb its effect.

In my opinion, politicians should consider the allocation of equal amount of resources to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
as they are all referred to as an emergency.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
appropriating adequate funds to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
would seem to have a long term
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect.

In conclusion
, while the gravity and funding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
may vary, they should all
be considered
as an emergency with grave consequences and appropriate funds should
be rendered
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. Provided that this
is implemented
, lesser concerns would
be encountered
from the repercussions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
disasters.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay People nowadays are used to disposable items meaning that they use things for short time and throw them away. What do you think is the cause of this and what problems can it lead to? v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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