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People now have freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v.1

People now have freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 1
Nowadays, indubitably, the world has shrunk into a global village. It has, therefore, become quite easy to get employed and settle anywhere in the world, because of advancement in communication and transportation technology. Owing to this, its major benefit is that it proliferate jobs for the people at the world level, whereas, families are being fragmented due to this phenomenon, which is a major drawback. On the productive side, evolution in modern day technology is immensely beneficial for the younger generation, by this; they can choose their career in different parts of the world, according to their field of study. Nowadays, when unemployment rate is sky-high in some countries, people are choosing to migrate to developed countries to not only earn bread and butter for their life, but also for better and secure future of their descendants. Moreover, it also helps to boost the economy of visiting countries, because skilled labour from all around the world For an example, in NASA, about 35% employees are from India, they decided to move there because of lack of opportunities in their home country, in fact, working there would not have been possible for them, had communication and transportation technology is of top notch. On the destructive side, with the latest technology of exchanging information and travelling, people are migrating to different parts of the world more frequently than ever before. As a result, families are being divided, that leads to create an unfillable gap among the conventional families. Moreover, by residing in foreign countries, individuals are making a distance from their traditions and cultures To conclude, although there are some drawbacks of live and work abroad, at the same time it also provides multifarious benefits to the individuals and nations by providing employment and strengthening the economy respectively.
Nowadays,
indubitably
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
has shrunk into a global village. It has,
therefore
, become quite easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employed and settle anywhere in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of advancement in communication and transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Owing to this, its major benefit is that it proliferate jobs for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
level, whereas, families are
being fragmented
due to this phenomenon, which is a major drawback.

On the productive side, evolution in modern day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
immensely
beneficial for the younger generation, by this; they can choose their career in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, according to their field of study. Nowadays, when unemployment rate is sky-high in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are choosing to migrate to developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
earn bread and butter for their life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for better and secure future of their descendants.
Moreover
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to boost the economy of visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
skilled
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
from all around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
For an example, in NASA, about 35% employees are from India, they decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of opportunities in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, in fact, working there would not have been possible for them, had communication and transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top notch
.

On the destructive side, with the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
of exchanging information and travelling,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are migrating to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
more
frequently
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
As a result
, families are
being divided
, that leads to create an
Possible spelling mistake found.
unfillable
gap among the conventional families.
Moreover
, by residing in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, individuals are making a distance from their traditions and cultures

To conclude
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and work abroad, at the same time it
also
provides multifarious benefits to the individuals and nations by providing employment and strengthening the economy
respectively
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay People now have freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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