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People living in the country can give better care to their families than those in cities. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

People living in the country can give better care to their families than those in cities. v. 2
Opinions differ over whether people living in the country can give better care to their families than those in cities. I dispute the view that if people live in the country, they can give good care to their families. Above all, It is easy for people to provide better qualities of life to their families by using public facilities such as hospitals than the country. To continue, Cultural activities are more easily enjoyed by living in the cities. To begin with, compared to the rural area, public facilities such as hospitals are easy to utilize in the cities. The opposing side argues that there has been improved local infrastructure in the country. Their view may sound like a reasonable position on the surface. Nevertheless, their analysis is mostly baseless and minimally cogent. To their dismay, there exists an abundance of examples that debunks what they insist. Included in such examples, my personal observations can clarify why people living in cities can offer better consideration for their families by using public institutions such as hospital. When I was in middle school, my sister complained serious stomachache while she was in school. Therefore, I called 911 for an ambulance; she moved to a nearby hospital. It took only 20 minutes to be carried to the hospital by ambulance; she received treatment quickly. In contrast, when she got injured her finger in grand parents' house which is located in the country. There are only one hospital in there. It took almost two hours to arrive at hospital from my grandparents' house. Owing to lack of public facilities in the countryside, my sister could not get medical care for her finger. This example illustrate that it is hard to expect people to give better care to their families in the country. Additionally, people can give cultural activities to their families in the cities than in the countryside. The anecdote of mine that I narrated above is not the only evidence to support my view. A significant body of research serves to defend my conclusions. A significant majority of survey participants endorsed my point of view that people from cities can provide a good quality of education to their families. A participant in the research expressed that there are many good educational facilities in the cities such as museums, art exhibitions, music performances, and musicals than in the rural. they added that the benefits of these activities included stress relief and a holistic education to their families. This makes clear that people living in the cities able to provide better care to their families than those in the rural areas. In summary, people can give many opportunities to their families when they live in the cities for the reasons that I have mentioned above. In the cities, there are many essential facilities are available such as hospitals, museums, and art exhibitions. It is clear that life is easier and more convenient when people live in the cities. For all these reasons, I think that people living in the cities can offer much better care to their families.
Opinions differ over whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
than those in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. I dispute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Above all
, It is easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
qualities of life to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. To continue, Cultural activities are more
easily
enjoyed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the cities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, compared to the rural area,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
are easy to utilize in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. The opposing side argues that there has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
local infrastructure in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
may sound like a reasonable position on the surface.
Nevertheless
, their analysis is
mostly
baseless and
minimally
cogent. To their dismay, there exists an abundance of examples that debunks what they insist. Included in such examples, my personal observations can clarify why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
consideration for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
institutions such as hospital.

When I was in middle school, my sister complained serious stomachache while she was in school.
Therefore
, I called 911 for an ambulance; she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to a nearby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
. It took
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
20 minutes to
be carried
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
by ambulance; she received treatment
quickly
.
In contrast
, when she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
injured her finger in grand
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
which
is located
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
in there. It took almost two hours to arrive at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospital
from my
Possible spelling mistake found.
grandparents&
#039;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. Owing to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities in the countryside, my sister could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for her finger. This example
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "illustrates".
illustrate
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in the country.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
cultural activities to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
than in the countryside. The anecdote of mine that I narrated above is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
evidence to support my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
. A significant body of research serves to defend my conclusions. A significant majority of survey participants endorsed my point of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality of education to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
A
participant in the research expressed that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
educational facilities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
such as museums, art exhibitions, music performances, and musicals than in the rural.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
that the benefits of these activities included
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
relief and a holistic education to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
able to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
than those in the rural areas.

In summary,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for the reasons that I have mentioned above. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
essential facilities are available such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hospitals
, museums, and art exhibitions. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that life is easier and more convenient when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. For all these reasons, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
can offer much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
75Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay People living in the country can give better care to their families than those in cities. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
512 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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