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People living in emerging countries are indeed happier than those who live in industrialized countries.

People living in emerging countries are indeed happier than those who live in industrialized countries. n1dDP
People living in emerging countries are indeed happier than those who live in industrialized countries. This circumstance, caused by high living costs and environmental issues in the urban jungle, plays an exemplary case in urban development in the future. People in developed countries have to work harder to support expensive living costs. By contrast, in developing countries with low living expectations and cheap costs for food, housing, transportation, people can easily afford necessities and be satisfied. To illustrate this difference, the living cost in the USA is about three times higher than in Vietnam, given that Vietnam is one of the top happiest countries in the world. Besides, pollution in industrialized countries also causes diseases, illness, and stress. Developed countries often face environmental issues, such as water contamination, air pollution. These poor environmental qualities damaged citizen's health and loss of life expectancy across the country. It is the case for Beijing (China), where air pollution has caused health loss, disease burden and led to thousands of deaths. However, lessons from these problems also paved the way for advancement in urban developments in many countries. Firstly, the economic developments must go along with environmental protection. Therefore, many solutions for green constructions, emission, manufacturers were applied to improve the situation. Moreover, many forums, agreements, and commitments for a global and regional joint movement were implemented. Besides, the living cost burden can be partly mitigated by social welfares. Secondly, social well-being should be cared for to reduce stress and living cost burden. The authorities granted thousands of financial aid packages and funds for the citizens. In addition, companies are also encouraged to commit to a workplace code of conduct to reduce working pressures. For example, the FLA code of conduct recommended employers not to require employees to work overtime regularly. In conclusion, living in developed countries is less happy than living in developing countries due to living costs and pollution pressures. However, the happiness index is getting better among countries thanks to the lesson learned about environmental importance and social well-being. (358 words)
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People
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living
in emerging
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countries
are
indeed
happier than those who
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live
in industrialized
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countries
. This circumstance, caused by high
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living
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costs
and
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environmental
issues in the urban jungle, plays an exemplary case in urban development in the future.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in developed
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countries
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have to
work harder to support expensive
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living
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costs
. By contrast, in developing
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countries
with low
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living
expectations and
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cheap
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costs
for food, housing, transportation,
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people
can
easily
afford necessities and
be satisfied
. To illustrate this difference, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
in the USA is about three times higher than in Vietnam,
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given
that Vietnam is one of the top happiest
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countries
in the world.
Besides
,
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pollution
in industrialized
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countries
also
causes diseases, illness, and
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stress
. Developed
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countries
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often
face
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environmental
issues, such as water contamination, air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. These poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
qualities damaged citizen's health and loss of life expectancy across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. It is the case for Beijing (China), where air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
has caused health loss, disease burden and led to thousands of deaths.

However
, lessons from these problems
also
paved the way for advancement in urban developments in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Firstly
, the economic developments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
protection.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions for green constructions, emission, manufacturers
were applied
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
forums, agreements, and commitments for a global and regional joint movement
were implemented
.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
burden can be partly mitigated by social
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welfares
.
Secondly
, social well-being should
be cared
for to
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reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
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living
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cost
burden. The authorities granted thousands of financial aid packages and funds for the citizens.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are
also
encouraged to commit to a workplace code of conduct to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
working pressures.
For example
, the FLA code of conduct recommended employers not to require employees to work overtime
regularly
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is less happy than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
costs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
pressures.
However
, the happiness index is getting better among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
thanks to the lesson learned about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
importance and social well-being.

(358 words)
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IELTS essay People living in emerging countries are indeed happier than those who live in industrialized countries.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
339 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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