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People increasingly migrate to other countries. What problems it causes? What would be possible solution

People increasingly migrate to other countries. What problems it causes? What would be possible solution RWRKQ
Nowadays many people relocate to other countries. The main problem this causes lack of housing and the most viable solution is a public awareness campaign warning people about the dangers of moving another country. The principal problem associated with many people want to migrate to other countries, but they do not think about the problems which may arise when moving to another place. Thus many people move to another country permanently. The result of this is lack of accommodation, which people move to another country and cannot find a place for living. For example, a recent government survey in Turkey found that 70 percent of migrants in Turkey suffer from finding an accommodation. To tackle this problem the government should launch an awareness campaign in the media and in schools to educate people about the dangers of migration to other countries. Many people move to another country without any information about the dangers of moving. An awareness campaign should shed some light on this difficult situation and allow people to be more open and honest about it. For example, a similar initiative in Norway resulted in 56 percent of people refuse to move to another country after learning about the dangers of moving to another country. In conclusion, people’s desire to move to another country is a major issue that can result in lack of accommodation, however it can be addressed through educating people about the dangers.
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relocate to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
this causes lack of housing and the most viable solution is a public awareness campaign warning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
another country.

The principal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
associated with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to migrate to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which may arise when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
to another place.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
permanently
. The result of this is lack of accommodation, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and cannot find a place for living.
For example
, a recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
survey in Turkey found that 70 percent of migrants in Turkey suffer from finding
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "accommodation".
an accommodation
.

To tackle this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should launch an awareness campaign in the media and in schools to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangers
of migration to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
without any information about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
. An awareness campaign should shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on this difficult situation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be more open and honest about it.
For example
, a similar initiative in Norway resulted in 56 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
refuse to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
after learning about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moving
to another country.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
desire to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a major issue that can result in lack of accommodation,
however
it can
be addressed
through educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangers
.
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IELTS essay People increasingly migrate to other countries. What problems it causes? What would be possible solution

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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