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Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job. Others disagree and think a good salary leads to a better life.Discuss both views and give your own opinion/

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job. Others disagree and think a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion/ wmO5m
Some people prefer having an enjoyable job over a high salary, while others think that earning a lot of money can provide a better life. Between job satisfaction and a good salary, I think the former one is more important. People can get good pay, but if they are not happy, there is no point to it. It is true that individuals can work in a prestigious job and have great pay, but after some time, they may get so frustrated that they are not following their heart and following someone else's dreams. For example, lots of college students are doing a course their parents pushed them for but they are not satisfied. After graduation, they will not be happy with what they are doing, and there is a big chance that they will give up their job and start following their own path. Moreover, when people are doing what they want, they will not feel heavy or burdened with the work that they do, because when workers do not like things at the workplace, it becomes difficult for them to work and they can become less productive during working hours. However, if families are struggling to make ends meet, they have no choice but to have a job with a good salary. For those people, happiness would mean having money and an opportunity to buy food and basic needs or at least just pay off their credit cards. Another reason why people choose a high-paid job is that everyone wants and needs money. Almost every single person wants a new car and a new home to live in. For those people, happiness comes with having nice things such as the latest technology, brand clothes, etc. In conclusion, although a well-paid job is needed to buy everything we want, it is better to combine a good salary and a desirable job.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer having an enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
over a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that earning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money can provide a better life. Between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the former one is more
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important
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can
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get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
pay,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they are not happy, there is no point to it. It is true that individuals can work in a prestigious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and have great pay,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
frustrated that they are not following their heart and following someone else's dreams.
For example
, lots of college students are doing a course their parents pushed them for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are not satisfied. After graduation, they will not be happy with what they are doing, and there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
chance that they will give up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
following their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
path.
Moreover
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are doing what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
, they will not feel heavy or burdened with the work that they do,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when workers do not like things at the workplace, it becomes difficult for them to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they can become less productive during working hours.

However
, if families are struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
, they have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
. For those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, happiness would mean having money and an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
food and basic needs or at least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
pay off their credit cards. Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose a high-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is that everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
and needs money. Almost every single person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wants
a new car and a new home to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in. For those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, happiness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with having nice things such as the latest technology, brand clothes, etc.

In conclusion
, although a well-paid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
everything we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
, it is better to combine a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
and a desirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job. Others disagree and think a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion/

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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