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Nowadays a gap between city side and countryside has been increasing . what are the reasons ? what government should do to resolve it?

Nowadays a gap between city side and countryside has been increasing. what are the reasons? what government should do to resolve it? E9wP3
It is true that the gap between urban and rural is widening day by day. This essay examines the reasons for this phenomenon along with implementable solutions to counter it. To begin with, there are several causes why a gap is rising between city and village. Firstly, it is fact that the literaturacy ratio of the urban areas is higher as compared to rural areas because advanced education facility is available in towns. Furthermore, due to excessive expansion of industry zone on urban land, job opportunities are soared. So the majority of town people have good salary than villagers, which leads to generating more gap between cityside and countryside. Secondly, most of the farmers, who live in the countryside, use the conventional method of agriculture. As a result, the production of grains is less so as to earn only money, which can help them to fulfill their basic needs. Serious steps are needed to be taken as "stitch in time save nine". The first and foremost important way to tackle the issue is that government should invest the money in advancing the infrastructure of schools and colleges and in providing well-educated staff in schools in villages. Moreover, the authority should provide information and instruments related to new farming methods in order to increase their earnings. Another solution is that it should be one of demanding jobs of authority to give orders that owners relocate some larger companies. As a consequence, relocating companies generate more job opportunities. Agglomerating all the points, elaborated above, it can be concluded that in rural areas, lack of job opportunity and education are obvious reasons for widening gap between urban and rural, whereas the remedies of this reasons happen to shift of companies from city centers to suburban area and improve education standard in rural areas.
It is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
is widening day by day. This essay examines the reasons for this phenomenon along with implementable solutions to counter it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several causes why a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
is rising between city and village.
Firstly
, it is fact that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
literaturacy
ratio of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is higher
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
advanced education facility is available in towns.
Furthermore
, due to excessive expansion of industry zone on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
land,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities
are soared
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the majority of town
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary than villagers, which leads to generating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
Possible spelling mistake found.
cityside
and countryside.
Secondly
, most of the farmers, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the countryside,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the conventional method of agriculture.
As a result
, the production of grains is less
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
earn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
money, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to fulfill their basic needs.

Serious steps
are needed
to
be taken
as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
stitch in time save nine
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. The
first
and foremost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
way to tackle the issue is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest the money in advancing the infrastructure of schools and colleges and in providing well-educated staff in schools in villages.
Moreover
, the authority should provide information and instruments related to new farming

methods in order to increase their earnings. Another solution is that it should be one of demanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
of authority to give orders that owners relocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
larger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. As a consequence, relocating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
generate more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.

Agglomerating all the points, elaborated above, it can
be concluded
that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunity and education are obvious reasons for widening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
, whereas the remedies of
Did you mean "these"?
this
reasons happen to shift of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
from city centers to suburban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
education standard in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays a gap between city side and countryside has been increasing. what are the reasons? what government should do to resolve it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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