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People in the past were using their spare time in better way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People in the past were using their spare time in better way. kgAYN
Life in the past and life in present is completely different. People got more free time in past while people in present do not get much spare time. I personally believe that today's generation utilizes their leisure time way better than the people used to do it in past. This essay is going to shed some light on the same. To begin with, we are living in the era of digitalization. People can get whatever they want by a single tap of their finger. Availability of internet to all the citizens has made it easy to learn new skills on various online platforms during their free time. People can now enhance their knowledge and explore new things on the web. To exemplify, most students are using their spare time to improve their knowledge regarding their academics with the help of their smartphones and gadgets. Moreover, health has become a pressing problem for today's society. A trend of joining different clubs or taking regular part in outdoor activities to utilize the leisure time has been observed. People of present wants to remain fit and healthy. They are focusing to do physical as well as mental workout in order to cope up with their daily hectic and restless life. To illustrate this, a survey conducted by TOI revealed that 85% of residents of Mumbai are involved in number of activities for their physical stamina in their idle time. On the flip side, previously people were more inclined to spent some quality time with their family members. They often visited the house's of their friends and loved ones to meet them. They believed in strengthening of human relationships over the materialistic world. To explain this, people in past had very strong and meaningful relations with each-other when compared to relations of today's people. In conclusion, digitalization and desire to remain healthy has led people to indulge in constructive activities to spend their free time. However, due to fast paced life, people are forgetting the importance of human relations with each other. It is suggested that people of current time should also spare some time to maintain and improve their relations with their friends and relatives.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and
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life
in present is completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
more free
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time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
while
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people
in present do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I
personally
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's generation utilizes their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
way better than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. This essay is going to shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the same.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we are living in the era of digitalization.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
whatever they want by a single tap of their finger. Availability of internet to all the citizens has made it easy to learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
on various online platforms during their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
enhance their knowledge and explore new things on the web. To exemplify, most students are using their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their knowledge regarding their academics with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of their smartphones and gadgets.

Moreover
, health has become a pressing problem for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's society. A trend of joining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
clubs or taking regular part in outdoor activities to utilize the leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
has
been observed
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of present wants to remain fit and healthy. They are focusing to do physical
as well
as mental workout in order to cope up with their daily hectic and restless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To illustrate this, a survey conducted by
Possible spelling mistake found.
TOI
revealed that 85% of residents of Mumbai
are involved
in number of activities for their physical stamina in their idle time.

On the flip side, previously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were more inclined
Did you mean "to spend"?
to spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family members. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
visited the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
's of their friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them. They believed in strengthening of human relationships over the materialistic world. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong and meaningful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
with each-other when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, digitalization and desire to remain healthy has led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to indulge in constructive activities to spend their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are forgetting the importance of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
with each other. It
is suggested
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
also
spare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to maintain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
with their friends and relatives.
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IELTS essay People in the past were using their spare time in better way.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
362 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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