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THERE ARE MORE AND MORE PEOPLE WHO STUDY FROM HOME INSTEAD OF GOING TO SCHOOL. WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF THIS?

THERE ARE MORE AND MORE PEOPLE WHO STUDY FROM HOME INSTEAD OF GOING TO SCHOOL. WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF THIS? NygMy
Nowadays, self-studying has become increasingly popular. With the advanced development of technology and educational methodology, a student with a laptop and availability of the internet can study from any places like home or library instead of going to school to study online, mainly the university student. Besides, I the widespread of covid 19 infections, no student can come to school to study offline, therefore, study from home is more necessary. However, there are pros and cons in deciding to do this. This essay will explore the benefits and challenges to be overcome. First of all, it has some advantages. Students can decide the study priority. They can place the order of studying the most favorite subjects or the best subjects of their own. Moreover, students can have the most effective results in studying. Self-studying will keep themselves safer because it helps students avoid bad weather, pollution or accident from traffic jam and save money for petrol or public transport and so students are healthy and have more time for better studying. On the other hand, self-studying has some disadvantages. Students can be distracted by other attractive things or activities. Although they can arrange time and priority to study but the students are more sedentary in doing the assignment because they often think they still have spare time. In addition, they are interested in games which waste much of their time. Consequently, they can miss the deadline. Besides, it is easy to be led to a sense of isolation. One of the purposes of going to school or off-line study is that it improves a person in both intelligence and social relationship which can make himself or herself rounded as a person. However, studying by his or her own can do the inverse way of turning a person into the mood of staying alone with no more contact and relation to the whole society and other peoples. All things considered, study from home is never easy. Students have to think twice about the positives of studying by priority, be safer and the negatives of being distracted or led to isolation sense. Personally, I take the view that, in terms of personal development, studying from home is the option.
Nowadays, self-studying has become
increasingly
popular. With the advanced development of technology and educational methodology, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
with a laptop and availability of the internet can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
from any places like home or library
instead
of going to school to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
online,
mainly
the university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
Besides
, I
The phrase 'the widespread of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the widespread of
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid 19
infections, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to school to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
offline,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
from home is more necessary.
However
, there are pros and cons in deciding to do this. This essay will explore the benefits and challenges to
be overcome
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can decide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
priority. They can place the order of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
the most favorite subjects or the best subjects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can have the most effective results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
. Self-studying will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves safer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
avoid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
weather, pollution or accident from traffic jam and save money for petrol or public transport and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are healthy and have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for better studying.

On the other hand
, self-studying has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
can
be distracted
by other attractive things or activities. Although they can arrange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more sedentary in doing the assignment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they
still
have spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
In addition
, they
are interested
in games which waste much of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Consequently
, they can miss the deadline.
Besides
, it is easy to
be led
to a sense of isolation. One of the purposes of going to school or off-line
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
a person in both intelligence and social relationship which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
himself or herself rounded as a person.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
can do the inverse way of turning a person into the mood of staying alone with no more contact and relation to the whole society and other peoples.

All things considered,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
from home is never easy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
twice about the positives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
by priority, be safer and the negatives of
being distracted
or led to isolation sense.
Personally
, I take the view that, in terms of personal development,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
from home is the option.
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IELTS essay THERE ARE MORE AND MORE PEOPLE WHO STUDY FROM HOME INSTEAD OF GOING TO SCHOOL. WHAT ARE THE ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF THIS?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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