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People in the current generation are not fit and active, which will cause dangerous problems in the future. What could be the reasons and suggest solutions for this issue. v.1

People in the current generation are not fit and active, which will cause dangerous problems in the future. What could be the reasons and suggest solutions for this issue. v. 1
In this modern era, the populace are not in good physical shape and energetic because of that it will create hazardous issues in the upcoming years. The primary reason of this phenomenon is the sedentary lifestyle in many countries and the most viable solution is a public awareness campaign to younger ones about the dangers of unhealthy life. The principal reason associated with this problem is the sluggish way of life they are living. That is to say that their lifestyles involves no action or lethargic attitude because of advancement of technology. For example, people are glued to gadgets and they buy all the items through online without going to shop in person. In addition, they are addicted to fast food and processed or packaged items to make their lives easy. This result in severe health issue at a very young age such as diabetes, heart attach, obesity and so on, because of not doing any physical activities to burn their excess calories. Thus, youth is suffering with more health issue at a younger age due to motionless lifestyle. A long term solution to this predicament is the government should launch a publicity campaign in the media and in schools to educate people about the dangers of serious health issues. In other words, the government should provide more health awareness advertisement in the media and also school children have to be given instruction and importance of living healthy and enthusiastic life. For instance, people in Japan are living for the longest time because of the awareness given to the general public by their governing body. Therefore, the state has to take action by launching a new knowledge program for the welfare of their citizens. In conclusion, the inhabitants are not toned and lively in this contemporary world, which will produce a danger to their lifestyles because of living a lazy lifestyle which can be eliminated by teaching them the significance of living a healthy life.
In this modern era, the populace are not in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical shape and energetic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that it will create hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
in the upcoming years. The primary reason of this phenomenon is the sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries and the most viable solution is a public awareness campaign to younger ones about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of unhealthy life.

The principal reason associated with this problem is the sluggish way of life they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
.
That is
to say that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
involves no action or lethargic attitude
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of advancement of technology.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are glued
to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
gadgets and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all the items through online without going to shop in person.
In addition
, they
are addicted
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food and processed or packaged items to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easy. This result in severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age such as diabetes, heart attach, obesity and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not doing any physical activities to burn their excess calories.
Thus
, youth is suffering with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
at a younger age due to motionless lifestyle.

A long term solution to this predicament is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should launch a publicity campaign in the media and in schools to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
In other words
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
awareness advertisement in the media and
also
school children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
instruction and importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
healthy and enthusiastic life.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Japan are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
for the longest time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the awareness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the
Consider using "public".
general public
by their governing body.
Therefore
, the state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take action by launching a new knowledge program for the welfare of their citizens.

In conclusion
, the inhabitants are not toned and lively in this contemporary world, which will produce a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
a lazy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
which can
be eliminated
by teaching them the significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
a healthy life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay People in the current generation are not fit and active, which will cause dangerous problems in the future. What could be the reasons and suggest solutions for this issue. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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