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People in the current generation are not fit and active, and it will cause health problems in the future. What could be the reasons and suggest solutions for this issue. v.1

People in the current generation are not fit and active, and it will cause health problems in the future. What could be the reasons and suggest solutions for this issue. v. 1
It is anticipated that millennials could face serious health issues in the future due to their sedentary lifestyle. While various factors such as inactive lifestyle and consumption of fast food have contributed to the above situation, certain measures could be taken to tackle this. There are two main causes of this development. In the first place, millennials involve in less physical activity due to their sedentary lifestyle. In recent times, the majority of people spend about ten hours per day in front of the computer at their workplace which results in many health issues. For instance, a recent survey revealed that five out of ten people who follow desk bound lifestyle have the problem of obesity and backpain. Another reason is the consumption of junk food. As it is rich in calorie, sugar and salt, overconsumption of this could result to severe health issues namely overweight, heart disease and diabetes. However, several possible courses of action could be taken in order to alleviate the above development. To begin with, individuals who follow inactive lifestyle should start doing physical workout. They have to understand the health risk associated with their lifestyle and take part in a simple work or a sport activity. This will eventually demise the health risks. Another way forward could be for the government to run a nationwide campaign to raise awareness about the impact of fast food consumption and the significance of healthy eating. If general public enlighten through the campaign, they will be more considerate about their food choices in the near future. In conclusion, desk bound lifestyle of the current generation expected to bring many health issues in the future. However, if both people and the government work towards the well-being of the general public, the problems could be alleviated.
It
is anticipated
that millennials could face serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
in the future due to their sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. While various factors such as inactive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and consumption of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
have contributed to the above situation, certain measures could
be taken
to tackle this.

There are two main causes of this development. In the
first
place, millennials involve in less physical activity due to their sedentary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. In recent times, the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend about ten hours per day in front of the computer at their workplace which results in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
.
For instance
, a recent survey revealed that five out of ten
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who follow desk bound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
have the problem of obesity and
Possible spelling mistake found.
backpain
. Another reason is the consumption of junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. As it is rich in calorie, sugar and salt, overconsumption of this could result to severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
namely
overweight, heart disease and diabetes.

However
, several possible courses of action could
be taken
in order to alleviate the above development. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, individuals who follow inactive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
doing physical workout. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
associated with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in a simple work or a sport activity. This will
eventually
demise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
. Another way forward could be for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to run a nationwide campaign to raise awareness about the impact of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
consumption and the significance of healthy eating. If
Consider using "public".
general public
enlighten through the campaign, they will be more considerate about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
choices in the near future.

In conclusion
, desk bound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
in the future.
However
, if both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
work towards the well-being of the
Consider using "public".
general public
, the problems could
be alleviated
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay People in the current generation are not fit and active, and it will cause health problems in the future. What could be the reasons and suggest solutions for this issue. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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