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People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and solutions of this?

People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and solutions of this? Pg2RJ
although we all know family plays an important role in our life, people nowadays in certain countries seem like do not have much time with their household. This problem is caused by several factors, and it should be tackled by some effective solutions. There are some reasons why people spend less time with family. One of the main reasons is the fast pace of life. Many people are devoting a huge amount of time to work to earn more money, especially with the people who is the primary breadwinner in the extended family, their responsibility will be heavier so that they have to work more time or even move to another city or other country to find a job. consequently, they hardly make time for their family because of both schedule and geographical distance. In addition, the relationship between family member become weakened by the modern world we are living in. It can be seen easily these days that parent and children who are living together tend to use their leisure time for engaging in screen-time activities instead of chatting with each other. However, this issue can be addressed be some measures from both goverments and individual. In terms of personal, internet additiced are increasingly increase that leads to a lot of problem for family and also for sociaty, therefore everyone should realize the harmful effects of using the internet too much and restrain themselves. what 's more, people should set for themselve a suitable scheduke to balance between job and rest. This method not only will they have a period of time to relax with their family, but their work also be completed efectively. in the other hand, the goverment need to develop rural areas to tackle unemployment. Consequently, citizen do not have to work far away from their family. To sum up, family time for many people is less and less in some countries for a number of reasons but there are still effective measures to overcome this situation
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
we all know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays in certain countries seem like do not have much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their household. This problem
is caused
by several factors, and it should
be tackled
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effective solutions.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. One of the main reasons is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are devoting a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to earn more money,
especially
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Did you mean "am", "are", "aren"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
is
the primary breadwinner in the extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, their responsibility will be heavier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another city or other country to find a job.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
, they hardly
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make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of both schedule and geographical distance.
In addition
, the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
member become weakened by the modern world we are living in. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
easily
these days that parent and children who are living together tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for engaging in screen-time activities
instead
of chatting with each other.

However
, this issue can
be addressed
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures from both
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverments
and individual. In terms of personal, internet
Possible spelling mistake found.
additiced
are
increasingly
Consider using a past participle here: "increased".
increase
that leads to
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of problems".
a lot of problem
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and
also
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
sociaty
,
therefore
everyone should realize the harmful effects of using the internet too much and restrain themselves.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
what
's more,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should set for
Possible spelling mistake found.
themselve
a suitable
Possible spelling mistake found.
scheduke
to balance between job and rest. This method not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will they have a period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to relax with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
also
be completed
efectively
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the other hand, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
need to develop rural areas to tackle unemployment.
Consequently
, citizen do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
far away from their family.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
less and less in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries for a number of reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
still
effective measures to overcome this situation
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IELTS essay People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are the reasons, and solutions of this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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