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Negative Commercial Influences on Scientific Research

Negative Commercial Influences on Scientific Research 0nqa9
In the past over 20 years, the pace of innovation is accelerating. Links between science, technology and business are numerous. It is no secret that these links are increasing in number and extent. Both governments and business assert that this close relationship is generally positive for science and technology on the one hand and society on the other. However, there is growing evidence that this relationship brings with it a range of detrimental effects. In addition, it is clear that the commercial influences change the ways that researchers do on the scientific research. The main concerns about commercial influence on science and technology uncovered by this study and presented in detail in this essay are: Firstly, one of the most negative consequences that corporations and industries had on research was forcing scientists to turn their attention from the actual work to producing patentable materials, as well as due to a huge of profits return, some researchers focus on the researching speed rather than the quality. In order to get a good experiment results, some researchers will change experimental date. In this case, they may fail easily or receive worse consequences. Secondly, for university, on the influence of the business, they behave more like businesses, while key attributes of the academic ethos such as openness, objectivity and independence are being seriously eroded. With growing business influence on universities is resulting in a greater focus on intellectual property rights in academic work. Hence knowledge is increasingly being ‘commodified’ for short-term economic benefit. This can weaken its benefit that can application for wider public, and produces a narrow approach to scientific curiosity. Third, Companies have expanded the number and range of partnerships with universities, focusing on business research priorities and goals. The power and influence of some corporations, and the increased pressure on researchers to bring in funding from business, means that academic departments are increasingly orientating themselves to commercial needs rather than to broader public interest or curiosity-driven goals. Especially evident in biotechnology, pharmaceutical, oil and gas, and military partnerships. For example, there is virtually no university engineering department in the United Kingdom that does not receive funds from the arms industry. Joint research projects have brought experts so close to corporations, that it's virtually impossible to separate the two, and look at the scientists as independent（S, & Langley, C(2009) New Scientist）. However, in many aspect of commercial impact play a signification role. For example, the business can provide enough funding for scientific research; the scientist can make the most of enough funding to make contribution to society. So scientific research can not be indifferent to commercial active. In conclusion, the only thing that could revert this situation is a widespread reform, of all parties involved in the research community. From government policy to individual research studies, people need to realize the importance of having independent science and not just for the immediate profit of a few. We must be careful not to make into a black and white issue. Whether the commercial join into scientific research or not, in many circumstance, are not competitive but complementary to each other, and serve different people for various purposes. Reference. Adapted from Parkinson, S, & Langley, C (2009). Stop selling out science to commerce. New scientist, 204(2733), 32-33.
In the past over 20 years, the pace of innovation is accelerating. Links between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
are numerous. It is no secret that these links are increasing in number and extent. Both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
assert that this close relationship is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology on the one hand and society on the other.
However
, there is growing evidence that this relationship brings with it a range of detrimental effects.
In addition
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the ways that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
do on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
research.

The main concerns about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology uncovered by this study and presented in detail in this essay are:

Firstly
, one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences that corporations and industries had on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
was forcing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
to turn their attention from the actual work to producing patentable materials,
as well
as due to
The phrase 'a huge of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a huge of
profits return,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
focus on the researching speed
rather
than the quality. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experiment results,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
experimental date.
In this case
, they may fail
easily
or receive worse consequences.

Secondly
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, they behave more like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
, while key attributes of the academic ethos such as openness, objectivity and independence are being
seriously
eroded. With growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
is resulting in a greater focus on intellectual property rights in academic work.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
knowledge is
increasingly
being ‘commodified’ for short-term economic benefit. This can weaken its benefit that can application for wider public, and produces a narrow approach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
curiosity.

Third,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
have expanded the number and range of partnerships with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
priorities and goals. The power and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
influence
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
corporations, and the increased pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
to bring in funding from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, means that academic departments are
increasingly
orientating themselves to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
needs
rather
than to broader public interest or curiosity-driven goals.
Especially
evident in biotechnology, pharmaceutical, oil and gas, and military partnerships.
For example
, there is
virtually
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
engineering department in the United Kingdom that does not receive funds from the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "arms'" or "arm's"?
arms
industry. Joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
projects have brought experts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
close to corporations, that it's
virtually
impossible to separate the two, and look at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientists
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
independent（S
, & Langley, C(2009) New
Possible spelling mistake found.
Scientist）
.

However
, in
Possible agreement error. The noun aspect seems to be countable; consider using: "many aspects".
many aspect
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
impact play a signification role.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funding for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
; the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the most of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
contribution to society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
can not be indifferent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
active.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that could revert this situation is a widespread reform, of all parties involved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
community. From
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
policy to individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
studies,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to realize the importance of having independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for the immediate profit of a few. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be careful not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
into a black and white issue. Whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
or not, in
Possible agreement error. The noun circumstance seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much circumstance", "a good deal of circumstance".
many circumstance
, are not competitive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
complementary to each other, and serve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for various purposes.

Reference.

Adapted from Parkinson, S, & Langley, C (2009).
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stop
selling out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
to commerce. New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientist
, 204(2733), 32-33.
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IELTS essay Negative Commercial Influences on Scientific Research

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
544 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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